It*s My Life

Boring blog?

2006-05-29T04:16:00.000+02:00

aww this blog is too boring. lets head over to the sanitized one on the right! =)

Wrong state

2006-05-02T02:53:00.000+02:00

Got to work in the wrong state of mind today.

really very sian. and demoralised.

Sometimes I feel that I need some space away from my mum. my family.

I missed the days that I am living alone.

This reminds me of this article in Straits times. about young singaporeans shifting out and living on their own. I feel like doing that too. Meeting for dinners often with mummy is fine. but living with her is another thing altogether.

Today. we took the train together as usual.

I know it is out of love. but she kept pushing me to do things that I do not want to do. 'advertising' and pressurising me to take up careers that I do not like at all!

ALL in the name of money.

I HATE. I repeat. I HATE to do things just because of money.

go on and label me the strawberry generation.

that I value the fact that I enjoy my job more than money itself. Mum was like saying that. she did not have the choice. given a job she will bite her teeth and pull through and do it.

This, I got to hand it to my mum. A lady with a will of iron.

BUT. you see. she's practising TCM in the nights. and yet she wanted to force me to do some financial planning stuff, saying that it earns alot of money in the night.

SO my question to her should be. Since going into FP makes more money than TCM, why do TCM? you might as well do FP?

BUT alas. My emotions got better of me then. I failed to take control of my brain better.

SO. Instead I asked. Why don't you do it yourself instead? I do not like this line at all.

This resulted into her being a little upset. because perhaps she thinks that I am the new strawberry generation. etc. that I am out to spike her or something.

*headache* my head is aching so much that I regret not having my facial toner with me. =(

Now. that touches on my weird family politics. cos the TCM is a family business. or rather. it used to be??

I don't know.

I am not sure.

I am too tired.

*ouch* my headache.

Called my mummy to explain while writing this blog. but she didn't pick up the phone. yup. the end.

I hate coming to work in a bad state!!

STICKY:Kind of losing focus.. so..

2006-03-21T04:06:00.000+01:00

Doing some focusing stuff here:(*need to summarise)

New year resolutions:
alittle late.. BUT. better than dun have right??:P
============================================
Those done, or on-going to completion:

-Study french, Get a cert for french. study abit first ok?
*DONE*

-Take driving lessons(parents' constant nagging)
*DONE* taking

-Finish syllabus.. for mu
*DONE*

-Get training to be a certified coach
*DONE* going for training this week too

-Play tennis
Think need to redo my sup card, to use the tennis courts at suntec.=( got to call n ask.
*DONE*

-Exercising more.
*DONE*

Things that I can do currently:

-Had some funny idea. A S O S (project M.Hospitality =P)
did some research liao. will work on existing contacts. have to come up with a concrete concept (3 products in one??!?).
bought ebook, n borrowed book from library
signed up for something, n sent PM to this person. waiting for response. (building up customer base)
Signed up with this ggle thingy :P (observant people should notice:))

Things to do AFTER I have finished what I am doing now:
*resolution:no tiring myself out, must have time to nua!*

-Study n prepare for GMAT. =) cant be more excited!!
did research, with us and sg education centres
Went to amazon to see the more popular and user recomended books for GMAT preparations.
Went to borders (which is not so difficult cos its just 5 levels below my butt. ha. I am on the 6th level. and kino to check out the GMAT books and branding books
went to Orchard library to borrow a branding book to know more. and also to explore and find out the kind of MBA i wanna go for...
finshed e branding book.=) nice. will practise on vm n mu=)
going for a branding talk on 1st march. applied 1/2 day leave for it. anyone else interested?=P

-Contact Children Society to start volunteering!!!=) I want to be on the advisory board/management board if possible. i think i can go a good job.
researched on children society, rainbow club, hearing impaired children, cancer children
spoke to sis n got the contact of M
Spoke to M, prob going to see what they do on 13 feb cos not free next week...
went down n volunteered for a night. it was great.
think i will volunteer nearer to my place.
asked M about places nearer to my place liao
got the contact of the volunteer places near my place

-Learning golf.
checked out n got the website liao. got khakis liao=)

-Go for a tourism short course
to experience the tourguide's life. got the form liao.

-Work as a tram ride guide at night safari
one of my long time dreams!perhaps after i get my cert in french, i could guide in french! ha.

-To learn ballet again
well. after learning 3-4 years of ballet, then I was kinda made to drop it at 10yrs old. I feel like learning it again? I did TRY during uni time, for modern ballet for awhile. thats all. *feeling stiff*

-Learn malay!
a practical language=)

Progress in italics..

Exhausted

2006-03-16T14:04:00.000+01:00

Wow. today.

I finally worked til a limit.

I am so exhausted that I think I could almost faint.

so I went straight home. wow. almost couldnt make it.

Now after sitting around for while. I couldnt bare to sleep. so.. I am going to do my personal project TPD. ha. ;)

Will tell u peeps when its ready!

---------------------------

Someone sweet actually woke up from his slumber to give me a morning call.

You know who u are. Haiz. Sometimes u are bad. sometimes u are sweet. Really. I lurveee the sweet part. so be sweet always ok? ;P

Bisous

Career Reviewing

2006-03-12T05:45:00.000+01:00

As above. Reviewing what I want to do.

Not that I hate what I am doing now. But most probably, its not what I want to do in a long run.

SO. yup.

Being a person who is ever so easily interested in so many things. I am wondering. which path should I take? I cant possibly be a jack of all trades, and sadly, a master in none? no?

After some pondering, here are the industries I am fascinated by:
-Public/Guest relations
-Tourism
-Hospitality
-Event coordination
-Wedding planning

and of course. perhaps one day. I can be a speaker.

when I am old (at a ripe age of 40). i know I want to lecture a polytechnic. ha.

Anyway. So. I've been flipping through the newspapers, visiting websites. To observe, what kind of qualifications are required for the various industries that I am interested in. I am not even going to touch on required experience!

So lets analyse, and see if I am indeed equiped.

For Public/Guest relations
I need, I guess, a something in business. or hospitality.

For Tourism
After looking at NATAS, n STB. Lets say if I want to get the management associate scheme for STB, I lack:
- With internship programmes that will demonstrate your leadership skills and interest in tourism
And I probably need to go for that Masters in Hospitality that I am eyeing, during the career fair. heh.

For Hospitality
The same thing. THAT masters.

For Event coordination
There is one advert. that said that it's preferred to have fund raising proven records. WHICH yippee. i have. but I haven't really coordinated large scale events on a corporate basis. though I have managed large events in school, and company sized events. hmm.. perhaps I need some weekend internship or something...

For Wedding planning,
This i dunno. ha. probably have to consult my dear friend who owns a dating agency. so far, I have only been involved in the makeup portion of weddings/engagements/ROM. But for this, I probably will not want to work for someone else. I prefer to work for myself.

Also. I thought about the environment I will want to work in.

To say the truth. I like that crazily 'on', and passionate environment. stressful in a constructive and exciting way.

But this type of environment is rare rare rare.

SO. I prefer to have no boss. And also. I prefer to have no subordinates.

If I can just earn $$ as a speaker or a motivationer. that will be fine. oh well. I need to brush up on my skills. cos I am not a good public speaker! that speech that I did to address the 1000+ people for my event. was scorned by sis as too sugary sweet. argh.

For this, I need to consult my professional speaker friends. could I afford the time to go for training? I have to get my freaking driving license first!!! so that I have one thing less to do. and also my french certificate ( i need it for most of my career paths as described above ).

OR. I could just stick to selling ice-cream and hotdogs. HAHA.

So anyway. I think I will most probably go for that Hospitality Masters. yup. unless something convince me otherwise. I still have 1.5years of bond with my current company!! I think i will rather fork out the master's fees on my own. rather than signing yet another bond!

==========================

So, we've come to the career reviewing part 2.

I need to earn 100k or so in 1.5years. or to earn enough to pay the downpayment (if i am taking a loan.)

Having repaid my study loan in full within a year. I must admit. I do not have much cash left. (yes yes, I have invested in a couple of weird n unconventional things, but those are for long term passive income)

so now, I am concentrating in not building up the long term passive income. instead, I shift my focus on personal development. and of course, earning the amount for my studies.

with my current measy (not v) salary of mine, it is impossible to do it just by the traditional plain saving(which my mum is soo advocating).

After striking up a strange deal with this someone. I've invested riskless in stocks. (the only risk is opportunity cost for e $$ and depreciation cost) Now, after one month of investing. I am able to get around.. 5-10% profits. not too bad. but not good enough for my goal.

wrecking my brain now. (dun expect me to give up my shopping!!!!)

============================
Side note:
I borrowed this guest relations book. which was a disappointment. it is like... sloppy introduction to neurolinguistic.

So, I borrowed this Google book thingy. currently still boring. Using figures to wow this readers. 1 whole chapter of figures.

some people should not be allowed to publish books!!!!

ha.

My blog

2006-03-09T02:56:00.000+01:00

Was skiving. (oops) and browsing thru some old old entries of mine.

And I realised. my blog has creased to be as interesting as before.

To think that I have gotten to know some 'fans' from this blog.

I removed my picture from my profile for this blog. cos u never know. google is really very powerful!!!!!! *trembles*

and I cant afford to allow the stuff i've written on this blog to be publicised. It might just jeopardise my career. if u get what I mean.

SO the less readers the better. ha. cant say the same for my sanitised blog:P

A friend told me. I am like carrie. in paris.

Another concluded that I am very sex-and-the-city kind of girl.

WHICH both I disagree!!!

Cos. Firstly. I DUN cheong! (unless there are cute cute muscular men in their underwears around. HAHAHAHA.. *cough* ) thats ossie's bad influence!! HA.

Blaming other people is always the smartest way to go!!!!

IF i were a character in SATC. I will not be carrie. I mean. I havent been rejcted or humiliated by a man before.. (how egoistic) *cross fingers*

But I do have close gay buddies! I love them! ha. who dun!?!?! haha.

With the amount of relationships I have.. does that make me Samantha? nono, I'm afriad not. cos I do not sleep around like a man. and I am traditional in this sense.

hmmm.. which I think. I am kinda close to Scarlett. But yet. I do not try as hard as her to get guys. oh well. i might! when i m her age of 30yrs old. heh. wow. I am doing an amazing job of scaring myself!!!

Which leaves miranda. well. i m more girlish then that.

Now I am at a point. where I am deciding. who to settle down with.

I am sick of relationships. And I just want to settle down n relax n be a parasite. HAHA.

Recently. Something shocked me.

Have I truly dated ALL types of men that might be of interest to me?

Cos. U see. I can now easily categorise the men that I find, kinda attractive into categories that are named after my ex-bfs!!!!

GOSH!

I shocked myself.

In fact. my sis is also doing the same thing. Like saying.. oh he is the N**L type.

When discussing with my sis. I might also say: he reminds me of L***E

OH NO OH NO OH NO.

Start freaking. Start pannicking. NOW!

=====================================

Parlimentary discussions with Sq.

After discussing various topics.

U see. I understand my dear old friends. asking me. where is this relationship going. how is it ever going to work out?

So. I discussed with Sq.

He suggested. Spending 6mths in Paris. n 6mths in singapore.

Preferably, he will have his own company. N I was to work for him.

But but... i dun want to work!! at least. i want to have the choice not to work u see?

heh.

but he is adamant about me working!!!=( boo.

so i think i will be selling icecream in summer, and hotdogs in winter.

or something just as brainless.ha.

anw.

so.

now we are at kids. where are the kids supposed to be brought up?

This is funny.

Cos that morning I asked him this question. And he told me. that he was just pondering about it during the day!!!! telepathy is cross-cultural.

But for now. I focus on my mummy.

I am stronger now than the last time. though I am the only one left in singapore.

Sq has to work hard on his chinese before i can even really consider.......... (tu sais? c'est vraiment tres tres important pour ma mere. et j'aime ma mere. donc. le chinois est tres important. t'es d'accord? travaille un peu plus stp..=()

Hey all!!

2006-02-20T05:08:00.000+01:00

People of the universe!!

Come judge me!

I hate Sg men!!

2006-02-15T10:53:00.000+01:00

ha.

actually i don't.=P

But i do hate certain species.

And I came into contact with this certain species that I detest recently. during lunch. haha.. no prizes for guessing where is the source!

have you ever come across those.. with such a stupid big ego. and like to act so freaking buaya. YET. when a pretty lady comes to the scene, they become small little mice. with their tail between their hind legs?

Not to mention, this type of men are usually with a complexion that resembles a moon's surface. oily. glasses. fugly. i would say. considering their screwed up personality.

The common things that you will expect from this species is:
Case 1:
Me: oh, why did u choose to learn Japanese?
Fugly: the teacher is super chio lor.

Case 2:
Me: har. very rarely men will join yoga classes one leh
Fugly: for the girls mar! yoga classes got alot of girls one leh

er... err....

*ROLL EYES BIG TIME!!!*

FYI, fugly==fucking ugly

I can visualise u nodding your head in agreement. We have all experienced fake-buayas like that. acting all great and mightly in front of his male pals.

In actual fact, they are just pathetic losers. who sign up for alot of things, and do things alone in the end.

The specimen i have here. he goes to the gym for 3 evenings. japanese classes for 1 evening. golf for sundays.

there u go.=)

So next time, when we see a fugly boasting about the chio bus that he sees n can easily get. we should dare him! see him crumple! and laugh mercilessly at him.

Yes dearies, with your carefully perfectly manicured finger pointing straight at his oily, big pored nose.

haha. pointless post anw

vday

2006-02-15T03:12:00.000+01:00

thanks for ur smses=)

heh.

sq did after call me during work. which is really really rare! cos he only usually calls in the morning.

plus 2 smses. I am a happy girl.ha

I received.... flowers. could u believe it?

not from sq though.

n also chocolates.

both anonymous.

it must be very stressful n threatening to like me.

duh.

polite-takes

2006-02-14T02:43:00.000+01:00

Tired of the stuff at this place where I spend most of my time awake at.

hence i did the almost-unthinkable.

I spoke out.

I spoke to the Head of this place.

Think I spoke alittle bit too much...

I am scared.. I do not know what will happen next.

I should. keep an optimistic mind n continue to live happily.

Cos u see.

There are a few possibilities:

If i am not seen happily.
-the head might see me as grumpy. someone who complains n grumble alot.
-Unhappy because the situation has not changed=>grumpy?

if I am happily.
-i guess. I am someone who give feedback. have trust in him to make the changes.
-a complainer. who have faith and hope in the place.

yeah. so anyway. the key is to remain happy.

at most leave the place lor. but i need $$ for my mba wor. heh.

=================
I was rather stressed up yesterday.

so Ming n I complained to each other. HA.

I like spending time with her. cos she sometimes gives a different perspective. and she never seem bored of my rantings. hahaha..
(maybe she is internally bored)

I think i like to whine. BUT. who doesnt?????:P

right, people????? say YES!
==================

Kind of disappointed with... sq yesterday.

Yes i know he has to work. but i wish he could listen, counsel me, and calm me down abit. I guess I am just being a selfish bitch.

I was really v stressed by the above incident that I was on the verge of tears. =(

yes. perhaps I think too much.

U know. the person leading u is really very important? =(

I dun mind a lower pay.

Family and relatives

2006-02-02T11:04:00.000+01:00

This chinese new year.. is really rather emotionally draining for me.

well. due to the many issues between siblings of both sides.

our 'family' visitings was very fast and hasty.

So i have 1 ang bao from parents. 2 from the grand parent of each side. and 1 bonus one from a certain relative who was at grandpa's place. he isnt even supposed to be there!! ha. Cos we went at a time when it is certain that there is no one at my grandpa's house.

I bet he is kicking himself now.

haiz. where are my relatives? I have none left.

come to think of it, i kinda missed the xu wei style of some relatives, who says things like: wah... so big so pretty already ar.. etc.

sometimes we will only miss things when they no longer exist.

my family only have each other now....

Its over

2006-01-20T07:32:00.000+01:00

as in. my mum is happily out of the hospital.

Thanks everyone for ur concern=)

Why do I need to keep 2 blogs? I guess, I am not an opened enough person to type everything i think /feel and publish it to all my friends.

So this blog is the more personal one. The other is the sanitized one:P.

So to see my sanitised blog, go to peihanblogs.blogspot.com

=)

ok then.

next. i hate what I am doing now. but mysteriously, for doing nothing. I am rewarded.?? so weird. I dun like this feeling. I wonder is it because of that, that i cant sleep yesterday nite?

For there is no free lunch in the world..

Dear old readers

2006-01-13T03:41:00.000+01:00

I hate my life so much now.

Fights and unrest everywhere in my life.

In work, at home, in my heart.

what else could be wrong?

On the depressing way to work. in the MRT. i saw couples going to work together.

The shy couples will just look at each other in the eye lovingly, holding hands. before one exits the MRT for work.

Others kiss each other lovingly, before one leaves.

When we are in love, anything could be so sweet and romantic.

no?

even without a car. without luxury.

it is just so xinfu. so enviously xinfu (blissful).

Before. i seldom take the train with my ex bfs. cos they usually drive. It was really xinfu to be driven around. to be in a place, alone with the one i love.

now i am with my current bf. without any luxury. no expensive and frequent gifts. no nothing.

Yet, i felt so blissful with him.

but he is there no more. i think its time to fang shou. we will never be like those xinfu couples. not anymore.

lets forget it. once and for all.

On the other hand. this guy X is using emotional blackmail on me. which i hate. i hate to the CORE!

he drove over to my house one day, and dropped the newest canon digi cam in my house.

yes. really. so what if he is rich. please dun use ur stupid money to 'ya1' me can.

he kept doing things like that. putting gift vouchers in my letterbox. blah blah.

I really detest and hate.

so i brought the camera to the office and handed it back to him. he refused to take it. he said earlier that i can throw it if i wanted to.

i placed the camera in his place.

then he angrily took it and dumped it into the dustbin next to my desk.

I was soooo angry. i took it and dumped it into another dustbin.

why must all the stress come at the same time.

so. early in the morning. an argument with sq. a breakup. the camera emotional blackmail. all these. oh yah. i did not really have e courage to tell u people. or anyone at all. but my mum is hospitalised.

please do not:
-show sympathy
-ask if it is serious
-tell me that u hope she will be well
-or even ask any questions lar.

sorry. i find it hard to say. i m afraid my tears will fall first.

pretend that nothing is happening ok?

Thanks guys.

I will go for retail therapy this evening!!:)

Yet another blog migration

2006-01-12T02:36:00.000+01:00

this time to:
www.peihanblogs.blogspot.com

hey peeps

2005-12-31T07:44:00.000+01:00

more blogging on

janinamania.multiply.com

=)

Barcelona!

2005-12-21T11:44:00.000+01:00

Went to Barcelona last weekend !

Hmm.. have been doing quite a bit of traveling lately. In France, Germany n Swiss * Feeling broke =( *

Ha. Nvm. Will earn the money back next time!

I must say, I love Spain!!! Even though, there is the same language barrier we would have in France. I will really want to learn Spanish!!! (I did take a short Spanish course, but it is not enough!! And I have forgotten everything, due to lack of chances to practise. ) I would love to live there for a while!

Yes true, the buildings and the architecture is amazingly beautiful in Paris. Very classy and sophiscated.

But it is really the vibrant, creative and colourful style of our beloved Gaudi that attracted me so much to Spain!

I am in love.

The bad thing is. We forgot our camera! So we bought a disposable one. So we will have to wait for the photos to come out, and then I will take digital copies of them! Ha.

Ok, preparing my last lap of Paris, and heading home soon. See ya guys.

Oh before that, I must mention that I had the most amazing dining experience, we went to this resto “Dans le noir”, so it is pitch dark in the resto, and the waiters, waitresses are all blind. So they are able to guide us. It is really like we have lost our sight! Very very memorable!

Ok, ciao til next time!

A simple life : Frankie

2005-12-15T16:21:00.000+01:00

So so so many things to tell u all, but so little time to blog !!!

Yesterday, I met one of the most interesting people in my life.

Frankie.

He is a French-greek man, who lives near my office. (imagine Einstein, because he looks exactly like him!) apparently my boss is his friend, so yesterday, we went to eat in his restaurant.

What is so special about him, you ask.

I shall start by his restaurant. His restaurant is a private one. With a sign outside, “copains abord”, nothing more, not even a sign of a name or a restaurant signboard. This is a very shabby restaurant I thought. But why would my boss insist that I eat there before I leave?

And even before we come, my boss has to call Frankie to ask him if we could come. And at first, he wanted to reject us.

So anyway, we stepped in. It is definitely not the usual kind of restaurant that my boss used to go to! I mean. The tables are ad-hoc-ly placed. With chairs around. Not like a proper restaurant that is.

Yuan lai. Frankie’s restaurant only accepts friends. If you are not his friend, you cant enter. Ha. That explains that lack of advertisements on the outside, as in the lack of packaging, or lack of decoration etc. AND u have to call before u come.

Also, you do not get to choose what you want to eat. He chooses what he wants u to eat. He chooses what he wants u to drink. Which wine as the aperitif, which wine with the plat. There is basically no menu. So you will just have to wait and see what he gives u. and what he cooks is basically what he gets from the market in the morning. So the ingredients are extremely fresh and good. Frankie emphasizes that he doesn’t buy his groceries from a supermarket. Only markets, he says.

For lunch time. A small restaurant like frankie’s with 3 tables, is full. With 8 people. 2 pple/2 pple/4 pple. And although there are more places at the bar. Frankie rejected 3 customers whom he doesn’t know! Haha. Dun u find this man so interesting and amazing?

He said, “Laisse moi faire le repas, ce que tu dois faire est tomber amoureuse avec moi.” Very cute and charming ! it means : Let me do the cooking, and what you need to do is to fall in love with me.

Crap but cute. After he took a wine glass; and drink from table to table, and chit chat with all of us. The customers are pleased to offer him wine, he is pleased to offer them a coffee, etc. his friendliness is contagious!

After he asked me, if I have ever touched an artist. And he took my wrist and place my finger on the back of his other hand. And said. Its done, u have touched an artist.

And it goes on and on. And it certainly helps that he thinks that I m very pretty! Ha… Frankie is someone who doesn’t care about $$, and all he wants is to have fun with his friends, etc. he is 70+, and he says that he doesn’t need any money.

At the end, he gave me his number AND his handphone number! And asked me to call him when I m in Singapore.

And u know what? I think I most certainly will.

Summary

2005-12-13T17:15:00.000+01:00

Hey peeps !

Have been soooooo busy in my life that i could hardly catch my breath !!

What I have been doing so far.

Busy meeting up everyone here before I leave.

So let me continue to type what I was going to type (from my previous blog).

So for last last Friday, I went to try out this special Japanese thingy at the Japanese Quarters in Paris. 101% authentic. The waiters and waitresses cant even speak good French. They conversed in Japanese, which was sufficient cos almost all their customers are Japanese!

I feel that I am back in Tokyo again!!

But too bad, no camera =(

Next. Saturday. Was with sq.

Spent the night doing potluck with a group of fun Singaporeans! Very very fun! Due to my inferior cooking abilities, I bought a roasted chicken instead of terrorising people into eating my food!

Pictures later!

No time liao. I got to go to my French lessons liao.

Let me summarise. Sunday cleaned house and went to Printemps with Sq n Aunt, watch Mama Mia (its free btw!!).

Last weekend when to Strasbourg, Germany (again!) and Switzerland for the famous Christmas markets and others, with 8 very fun travelling friends!!!!

Ok, really going. Will go into details tmr!

What I am up to these days

2005-12-06T15:47:00.000+01:00

Having a month left in France, I have geared up on with doing the things that I like to do in Paris, In France, In Europe.

I wanna blog about that some minutes ago, but now, I wanna blog about what is going through my head now.

I am currently working on my French homework. Working a crap essay to advise a friends about “comment améliorer sa façon d’apprendre une langue étrangère”.

Friends have asked me about my bf. What about sq? what is going to happen to us.

What I can say is. I will come back to Singapore single and available.

A thousand of different emotions are in me. After being let down again and again. I know in my heart, it is difficult for me to learn to lean on him for support. I cant. I cant trust that he will be there for me. I cant place my faith on him in this sense. Work or other friends have frequently (I will not say always) seem taken a higher priority, as compared to me. Disappointed beyond words. What is the use of telling me that u are always thinking of me and always talking about me, when I do NOT EVEN KNOW?!? And I cant even feel it. What is the point of showering me with tender loving care, when u cant do things for me? For eg, going down to Alliance Français with me. Yes, thanks for cleaning my aprt. No, no thanks for me having to be upset and u only allocate so little time for the whole aprt.

Silently I bid him goodbye. Ni hui zhao dao gen hao de.

Love/Hate relationship with Paris

2005-11-29T17:47:00.000+01:00

Friends and Family.

Xiang qing fu lao.

I will be officially going back to Sg end of December! I was offered a mission in Singapore, and yup I took it up.

Having said that, suddenly i felt that i really will miss France, for it is my habitat for 1.25 years liao.

SO, i've decided to list down the things that i HATE in France, so as to make me not feel so bad:

1. I HATE it when i cant speak up for myself when injustice is done, I cant fight for myself as well as i could have done in SG. yeah, i m pretty fiesty. pour exemple, l'apartement, le cours français juste il y a quelque minutes.

2. I HATE to have to rely on pple to get things done. its like i do not have a control on my life, my fate! I HATE especially to depend on sq to do things. he does things so slowly cos he is always busy. je crois que j'ai perdu 340euros à cause de lui! my blood will boil, and my blood pressure rises.

3. I HATE the stupid cold weather, that makes normal people have a headache when the wind blows at 0 degrees. or less. u get what i mean. i hate hate hate the cold. it makes me not want to go out.

4. I HATE the narrowminded people.

5. I HATE having an disadvantage JUST due to the language! WTF! how can language be a disadvantage.

6. I HATE the strikes! no oh, i dun really hate the strikes, i actually liked the show (where's my popcorn? =P).

7. I HATE being out with friends, and yet having the stress of focusing on each sentence they say, if not I will be lost. I HATE THAT!

8. speaking about having to focus very hard. I HATE needing sq to explain things to me during a conversation. be it a lingo, a slang, an idiom. GRR! i hate it! I feel so bimbotic, having nothing intelligent to add into the conversation. I hate feeling like an idiot!

9. I HATE being away from my dearest friends. i hate having to miss out on their KTV sessions! I HATE i HATE I HATE! I HATE loing

10. I HATE wondering if my mum is doing ok.

11. I HATE having to put on a coat for half of the year. i have lovely tops that i would like to show off! hahaa

12. I HATE pretending that (when someone asks) i want to be in France, and that i m extremely happy in France. Hate that man.

13. I HATE not being able to do things up to my upmost best, JUST because of the language disadvantage. YEAH, i know this belongs to an earlier point, but i hate it too most, so i have to separate it to a separate point.

oh well.

To the things that i think i like about France.

1. I can tour Europe easily

2. Shopping. good shopping though expensive. hmm... actually expensive means not good shopping. so.... ha.

3. Extra pocket money from company dearest!

4. Experiencing a different culture or rather learning how to cook the french food. culture i think i already learnt.

5. i think i m 2 to 3 times more popular with guys here..hahha

6. i will definitely miss some good, or in fact, GREAT and supportive friends. ils ont très gentile avec moi.

7. the architecture.

Yeah. thats all.

See you people in a while=)

what do we need to have/do to get love...

2005-11-28T11:39:00.000+01:00

Saw a disturbing email from Wesley. Haha

Yes, you.

It seems to be some Jacky Wu’s variety show. There is this girl who likes this guy. And she knows that the guy likes Sun Yanzi. So in the end, she underwent the plastic surgery, just to look like her.

I am like… OMG. Why did she do that???? People, if you even seen the before picture, please take note that it is the girl WITHOUT makeup. I believe with makeup and all, she is definitely not ugly. So why oh why did she do it to herself? Not to mention the recent Dawn Yang saga.

To what extent will women go, just to get love?

Was chatting to dear old friend over msn yesterday. Yup, we’ve lost each other for quite some time.

I realised. What I need really in life is love.

When will it come? What do I have to do? (given that I m not the kind who puts a lot of effort into a relationship. But Yes, I will want to meet someone who can make me do that willingly)

First flake of snow

2005-11-25T16:07:00.000+01:00

With the freaking cold temperature here.

I know it was coming. I could feel it coming. The snow storm is here.

This morning when I was on the way to the office, I saw ice on the floor. Frozen bits of ice everywhere. Yes, it is this cold.

I was contemplating to buy ear muffs, but did not get them. Cos it is really unglam. No one wears a ear muff here. =( boo.. my ears hurts, luckily I have my mp. headphones! Ha

My sis will be experiencing the same temperature when she goes to Washington to study. I seems that paris is alittle colder than Washington. Sis, just to let u know, the cashmere coat is not enough! =( boo hoo hoo. No worries, the coat I left for u is warm enough, tried and tested!

But reassure, I wore my polo Ralph sweater inside my coat, so just nice. Warm enough. But not to be out for too long a time!

The grey coat is still better, can move around in it. Cos its warm enough. I will wait til winter sales to go shopping again!

Me REALLY REALLY BROKE now! =( with 41 euros in my bank, and 305+55 euros to pay for my French lessons!!

Oh! I went for my test of competence in French today. Sad. I m only intermediate!!!!!!! I was hoping for advanced! But anw. Humpf! So sad! No reward for me. (was thinking of rewarding myself if I got advanced. =p ha)

sick sick sick of studying

2005-11-24T16:12:00.000+01:00

Yoz peeps,

I m currently very sick of studying french liao.

U know, just imagine that you have only ONE subject instead of a variety of subjects. One subject to study all the time.

How boring and sickening is that! I dun even have other alternative subjects that I can study instead just for a change. Instead. I m stuck with only French! Grrr.

So yup.

My only real break to type English is blogging. Ha. Or talking to my Singaporean colleagues, we dun even see each other often. They are in the same department, but not me.

So.

Back to blogging.

I typed a short French blog due to my excitement. And I wanna share my “happiness” with u guys! Ha…

So what happened was:

I happily went to the canteen to eat. So I chose the main plat of 6 chicken wings and added mash potatoes and some cauliflowers.

And I took a dessert of peeled mandarin oranges.

Et voila. The cashier counted wrongly and charged me only 28cents euros for my meal!!! Ha.. really very happy.

And yeah, I m cheapo!

And after at the café place, I got an extra chocolate from the lady at the counter. Cos she likes me! Hahaha. I like her too u know! And NO I m not confusing my love for chocolates with love for actual human beings… but oh well, no one who gives me good food is a foe! Hahaa

Ok, so that was the happiest day in my life! Ha, no true lar. Happiest day of the month I think. Its possible!

I am not sure with sq. still. Noel’s birthday is coming. Heh. I suddenly realised that I know a lot of people who are born in November!

So yeah! Happy birthday Chenwei, Happy birthday sissy! Happy birthday twin sis! Happy birthday Shifu! Happy birthday Cuzzie! Happy birthday Noel! Happy birthday L’eau-eek! Happy birthday the whole world!!=)

Ha. Say thank you for the birthday wishes (even if it is not your bd) and read on.

“You are welcomed”

* smiles sweetly *

Ha! How highly interactive my blog is!!!!!!!!!!!! =P

Woman fined for refusing to surrender roast geese at Changi Airport

2005-11-24T14:21:00.000+01:00

A funny piece of news, IMO. That woman is very wilful! The law, though amusing, is essential to protect us from bird flu or whatsoever…ha

SINGAPORE : A woman was fined $3,000 for trying to bring in two roast geese from China, and refusing to hand them over to the authorities.

The Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority said Tan Chai Peng was stopped at Changi Airport's Terminal 2 on September 30 and told to surrender the birds for disposal because she did not have a licence to bring them in.

She refused to hand the geese over and threw them on the floor instead.

She was fined $3,000 for obstructing Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA) officers in the execution of their duties.

And another charge of importing two roast geese from China was also taken into consideration in sentencing.

Under Singapore laws, a licence and a permit are required before importing meat and meat products into Singapore.

Travellers are allowed to bring in small quantities of meat for personal consumption, but this must be limited to 5 kilogrammes per person and come from a country approved by the AVA.

Beef, mutton, pork and poultry in any form cannot be brought in from Malaysia, Thailand, China, Indonesia and India. - CNA/de

Le jour le plus heureux de ma vie

2005-11-22T15:30:00.000+01:00

aujourd’hui la casseur l’a trompé, et j’ai un repas pas cher ! à juste 0.28 euros !! et après j’ai un chocolat supplémentaire. Ha

C’est le jour le plus heureux de ma vie !

=p cheap trill

NOT insomonia again!

2005-11-21T13:59:00.000+01:00

Hey peeps.

Firstly, I THINK MY FRIENDS ARE NOT BLOGGING OFTEN ENOUGH FOR ME !

Hahha

There are not enough blogs for me to read. And I really do not want to end up reading the blog of someone I dunno. U see?

Anw, my weekend hmmm… Well, 3 disputes with Sq in 1 weekend, what do u think? Rather sizable disputes too!

Sianz. But all is cleared (once again!) and we are happily again. But seriously it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why I do not have confidence in the relationship!

But then again, he is really very very sweet!

Oh well.

We spent Saturday afternoon with his aunt, an adorable lady I must say!

We had lunch at the restaurant that I wanted to go to. (ha, thanks to sq and his subtle hints, he is always too polite to say what he wants)

And in the end, quelle surprise! His aunt paid for the meal. =)

Sq got some tomato thingy as entrée, so I shared riavioli fromage with his aunt. It was super yummy, but pictures are in sq’s camera, BOO! The whole story about cameras is… sis took mine and I m supposed to take hers, but we cant find hers, and she is in Shanghai. SO, yeah. I m camera-less. I actually tot I had to buy a camera when my daddy dearest found her camera! Yah!!!!! 3 cheers for dad!

Back to sq’s aunt, and after we went shopping alittle at montparnesse, aunt wanted to buy sq some shoes for xmas. And we walked past a shop with a skirt that aunt likes. And I commented that the matching necklace is nice. SO, we went into the shop. I though aunt wanted to try on the skirt and the necklace, but instead she asked for the necklace, and asked me to try it and said that she will buy it for me.

OMG.

But in the end, I did not buy it, cos it is not really my type. I said it was nice, cos I tot it was aunt’s type.

But, what a sweet and darling lady, dun u think? She is single btw. At the age of 57, I guess it is kind of hard, no?

I am more than happy to meet her more often!

Anw, did not sleep well for a long long time already!!!! Grrr!!! So angry with myself. Not real energy during the day.

Yesterday I took a dosage of DOM, but still CANT SLEEP. And woke up v early too!!! And after I cant fall asleep again! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried everything I think! Tiring myself out. Footspa. Lavender. A bath. Alcohol!!!

Une soiree au resto parriade =)

2005-11-17T14:41:00.000+01:00

The starter

The parriade=)

basically its like a buffet.

The not-so-glam pictures of my colleagues! ha! we have been trying to take unglam pictures of each other. ha.

The Allison burns Faithfull

2005-11-16T17:04:00.000+01:00

I soooo want that bag right now !!!

Sq and me have been up and down, up and down, up and down. I hope that my life can be perfect again!

Yesterday after a major down, I was whining that the investing in French lessons is going to deplete my budget for my dearest desirable louis vuitton epi leather tresor international, which I have been thinking of for a long long time. And u know what guys? I mean, Sq is not rich at all! But he said that he will offer it to me for Christmas!! AHHH.. so so so touched!

Anw, I went down to Alliance Français today during lunch, to register for the course, only to find out that the 2 weeks course in November starts tomorrow! Which means I have to take the test today! But I do not have time for it, and also L’eau-eek, a dear friend, also sneaked out during lunch to accompany me, so I cant possibly take the test now NOW. So in the end, I decided to go of the 1 months’ course in dec, but it depends, cos I think I am coming back on the 20^th December, and the course ends 22th. So, we shall see. For now, its back to studying hard for the test in 1 week’s time!

Why din Sq come with me? Cos he is too busy to do so… DUH! But I have to be understanding =(

Have been spending more time with L’eau-eek than Sq, cos L’eau is really patient with me in French, and with Sq when we are not alone, I cant really expect him to speak slowly n explain to me all the time, can I?

Spoilt brat!

2005-11-16T16:36:00.000+01:00

Recently i stumbled upon a blog that slams some rich gals, and guys. Aiming particularly to those who were born with a silver spoon.

When we were little, I guess my sis and me were spoiled by our parents. And NOT knowing that we are indeed spoilt, we got angry with my father’s employees who thought that we were spoilt. And we loved those who were nice to us! OMG! HOW stupid children can be??!!?? But now, when I look at II, (that little girl who stayed over at my apart) I realised, we were indeed very spoilt. But heh, we grew up fine and nice right sis? =P

I feel that spoiling children is not something particular to rich families, even poor or average families spoil their children too! By for example, it is common for the mother to do all the housework, and the children do not help out? See? It happens. It is just that they do not have enough resources to spoil their children. NOT that they do not want to (subconsciously or consciously!!!).

My principle remains, cant bring up a child perfectly, DUN HAVE CHILDREN! Which is why I m kind of set on not having children, unless someone else can convince me otherwise.

Anw, I do not know if you are aware, but earlier, my family was really living on the line. But now, everything is fine again! my dad’s business is putting up again! I want to help, and I know I can.

PS: u know, I do not know where do I get my self confidence from. Really muo4 ming2 qi2 miao4, I will sometimes, if not always, feel that I m really very very capable in doing something I want to do very much, BUT I have not done it before! Ha. Beats me too, but I think I am capable of managing a project for dad. Or better, (or not) bring in the deals!

zhen de shi .............SANG NAO JIN AH!

2005-11-14T16:27:00.000+01:00

hi peeps!

last friday is a public holiday and i have went off to Cologne, Germany.

and before that, Sq have patched things up with me, so i left for my holidays happily! pictures are still in the cam. so sad that i do not have a digi cam now, so have to borrow from my friend. so one of the things to buy for the moment is a DIGICAM!

earlier i wanted psn's hp as a camera, but i guess it is still not sufficient for me! so i guess i will get a not very zai cam. i need to zoom, i need flash!

anw, will elaborate more on my holiday when i have my pictures!!

also, I have made the decision of investing in an expensive french intensive course. i figured out that i do not want to waste my time here anymore, i mean i m not doing things as efficiently as i am capable of. My time and my youth (haha!) is more important than some euros! haha. oh well. anw, i think i can easily make the money back once i have great french! =)

Then happily return back, only to quarrel with sq! again! I got back from cologne, then I went to bed immediately. Then I called him, wanting just to say goodnight that kind of things, cos we have not talked for 3 days. But his friend is with him, so he did not want to talk and insisted in calling me back, but I really want to sleep. so I got unhappy. He called me back in like 5mins. I was rather pissed liao, cos it has been 3 days that we have not talked . Then he got angry, cos he thinks that I do not appreciate that he kind of made his friend go off so that he can talk to me.

yeah.... kind of up-beat for my life until the quarrel. i find my strength from my relations in general. my bfs gave me the strength and courage and support to go on... if its going to continue to take my strength and positivity away again... haiz!

to be fair, when times are good, it is good. but its just that we really quarrel alot!

zhen de shi .............

SANG NAO JIN AH!!! (hitting my head while saying that)

some updates

2005-11-07T17:04:00.000+01:00

hi all,

My new job is as such that there are some days that i m really busy, and there are some days i m not busy.

This day is one of the days that i m not busy=)

anw, yes Weasley. there are riots here in paris, in france. and it is kind of freaking my mum out! oh well. there is nothing much to worry as the area I am in is well protected (I sure hope so!!)

Well, social problems naturally comes hand in hand with high unemployment rate. WHICH is a quite a long standing problem here, i guess. plus the society here is a very protective one, so there are people with french nationalities, but not orginally french, who get discriminated, etc.. you know lar.

Thanks you all for ur concern!!=)

Daffy, hmm, there is definitely no opportunity in sg that can remotely match the one i have here.. so... haiz.. which makes the decision hard.

Shifu, i am really doing something i like. but i guess, due to my lack of competence in the language, I feel very useless sometimes. i guess its the same feeling u had, when u were doing ur minutes and all... hence i feel like going back to singapore where i do not have the disadvantage of the language!

psn, the next time i am coming home is end of dec. but if i m staying, i would want to negotiate to come back during chinese new year! i want to be home for that!!! its horrigible to be away during new year, not to mention i lagi big time with no ang baos!! haha . joke *cough * joke. definitely i can stay in singapore, but there is NO opportunities at all!!! i might want to stay if there is remotely some opportunities. but to date, there is no. Zero opp.

I am not sure if it is more xinku then more prospects. it is just the distance from home. i dun mind the xin ku-ness of my job, cos i like it u see. but the distance and also the barrier of the language is horrible..=(

So, i dunno lar.

Anw, i proposed to sq that we remain good friends, cos i m sick of being disappointed each time. etc.

he said he will think about it. in fact it was ard the time when we were msning with u, ossie.

Tired

2005-11-03T18:05:00.000+01:00

Tired

Tired of thinking.

Tired of working.

Tired of pondering about my situation.

Tired of straining my eyes, cos I am staring into the screen for the whole day.

Tired of the stupid cold weather.

Tired of the stupid rain yesterday, cos I did not have my umbrella.

Tired of speaking in a foreign language.

Tired of painting my nails myself, then clumsily destroy my lovely French manicure.

Tired of being patient with my colleague.

Tired of not being able to blog openly. Neither MSN or any other chat is not allowed.

Tired of going back to an empty house.

Tired of smiling forcingly and sweetly to everyone.

Tired of laughing at people’s unfunny jokes.

Tired of the life here.

Tired of forcing myself for my career.

Tired of eating chocolates for meals (cos we dun need to cook them!)

Tired. Just so damn bloody Tired.

Here I am , stuck in the middle with you….

2005-10-27T11:22:00.000+02:00

I think i m going to write something irrelevant, and it might not even make sense!

As I have been talking to some friends who are studying/working abroad, I realised a pattern. After years of staying in a European cultured society. A lot of people attained nirvana, i.e. ‘nie pan’.

Before when we are all dwelling in the little island which we call home, we are full of ambitions, motivation and drive. Determined to carve an amazing career out of our hands, we embraced our destiny and ventured into foreign land.

We might have different reasons to make the choice for working/studying overseas. But they do not differ much from gaining exposure, for a better and brighter career. Generally.

Somehow, is it something about the European culture, that focuses more on family, and well being?? Or it is due to the long and vast distance from home, that we started to realise what really matters?

For eg, (dun bite me!) my dearest friend Ossie. Before, she is very career oriented. Etc. but now that she has found Duke in London apparently. PLUS she fell in love with the European lifestyle. (BY THE WAY, what European lifestyle?? When each European country is so different from the other????) That is not important. Ha. She now just prioritises love. Love love love love love. I wonder how many times do I have to repeat it to make you guys suffer from tooth decay!

Another example. From an old JC friend. When I was discussing with him about whether to stay or to return. He asked me instead that is this opportunity worth it? Is career really worth your absence away from your friends and family??? What are the things that you place priority to?

All this came as a shock to me. For he is, ( or at least, he was ) one of the most career oriented person I have ever met. Being the triple jump record holder of Singapore, of our times, plus track captain. All these topped up with his perfect A levels score. PLUS of course his army of groupies. Ha. All these. He has, instead, changed his direction.

If you guys remember Von. Von was someone who wants to “wo fei de jui gao jui yuan”. You know, the theme song of our beloved star search. And indeed she has. She is one of the very very few who got offered to study her PHD here in France, bondless. An opportunity which she rejected, just to go back to cultivate her relationship which she found here in France with a fellow Singaporean. This lady is planning to get married soon.

I wonder if its due to the age. Because we are getting older, we get more family oriented, and fluffy and all. But in fact, as compared to the people of the same age group back in Sg, the people in Sg are just as competitive as ever.

In Singapore, due to our sheer size, and lack of natural resources, hence we are a country made of human resources. In such a country, it become unavoidable that “success” is being commonly defined by how high you fly, your career.

I remember a kinda ‘debate’ not long ago (not really a debate, cos its on shifu’s blog), about VS guys discussing about how their school should be not a mixed school. My thought was, children should grow up in an environment which is natural. Natural being, the same of their living environment. The world is made up of 2 sexes, so why separate children due to their sex for schooling? (the same goes for religion, race, etc) there should be no separation, in my opinion.

And one of the old VS boy friends of my Shifu listed out the high flying people who graduated from single sex schools. And concluded that they are in fact, successful. I did not go on pushing my point. But what strikes me is how people associate success to success in career.

I guess I use to be like that. But now.. ha. No longer. At least I think so.

I think I am on the path of attaining Nirvana liao.. I am Nie-pan-ing liao. In france.

A suggestion to scholarship sponsors. Do not send people to Europe! Ha.

Its just my point of view anyway. Which made it so hard to decide whether to stay or to leave. Cos if I m like before, I would have stayed, no problems. If I have attained Nirvana, I would choose to leave, no problems. But now…

Here I am , stuck in the middle with you….

Life oh life

2005-10-25T17:25:00.000+02:00

I havent been sleeping nicely lately.

feeling sick.

Have been drinking the benedictine DOM with multi fruit juice. HA!

Recommended by mum. but its taste is really not great at all! but if you mix with lots of multi fruit juice, actually its acceptable!

Think the time has come for the decision of to stay or to leave......... what should i choose??????

HELP!

seriously life is hard in a foreign land...... Haiz.

You Ku Nan Yan. i wonder who can really understand. except for those that have experienced it themselves!

Starting afresh

2005-10-21T12:20:00.000+02:00

Hey people,
You know, I will love to blog more often.

BUT due to my 'strategic' location, i cant!! grr

anyway.

My birthday. the countdown day to my birthday (14th), sq and me had a big big fight. which led me to pack all my things in his house to shift out, and break up.

hmm. anyway. that is it. it was really really bad.

then we made up, and on my birthday, we had a simple meal in a Korean restaurant. which after we had a nice walk along the river. which overlooks (of course!) Effiel tower, and the other architectures.

THEN. he started walking REALLY fast. turns out. he needs the toilet urgently.

HEH!

anti-climax.

thats it.

I feel that there is too much 'bad blood' in the relationship. that i think that we should clear it all up before continuing.

For me, i know that i cant really trust him, i m extremely afriad that history will repeat itself. etc. Him too, i think. its so bad that sometimes we are fighting in front of friends. not exactly fighting, BUT just expressing our displeasure about each other in front of friends.

there are reservations now i think.

Hence, I thought about it.

Here are my proposed plans:
-Make a list.
Each person is to make a list. the list should contain first the things that you like about each other. it can be something simple like .... i like your big nose, or i like you when you call me to say "wan an". etc.

list out the times when you are hurt. go through the list, and explain your actions then. to close every case. make the relevant apologies (even they have been made before) once and for all.

THEN, go through the list of the things you like. ending each point with a kiss. =)
then hug long long.

- Discover a new place together
take the 31st Oct off, so that we have 4 days to go somewhere. perhaps Rome or Barcelona.
Taking a break together will do good for the relationship

-Start anew
NO more mentioning of previous faults/mistakes
if someone mentions it, the other have to say: "dear, we have already discussed about that, no?" followed by a kiss=)

Optional:
-go for classes togehter
as in, pick up something new together.
I would suggest Salsa... but i know he is not keen to try.

what do u all think? any other suggestions??

So upset with Blogger

2005-10-18T17:36:00.000+02:00

So upset with Blogger!!

my post about shit and urine cant be posted via email!!!!!

GRRRRR..

plus now that I am located strategically with the big bosses, I cant afford to be caught doing 'extra curriculum activities'!!!!!!!!!!!

BOO.

Lan3 Ren2 Shi3 Niao4 Duo1

2005-10-18T17:11:00.000+02:00

The direct translation will be :

Lazy people have more shit and urine.

HA!

Din realize that it sounds so crude in English!!

It doesn’t sound so bad in Chinese right??? Does it??

Oops

Anw, I have been going to the toilet more often nowadays..

WHEN I m feeling lazy. Ha, its true indeed!

The last day of 23

2005-10-14T17:21:00.000+02:00

There are few words to describe my last day to be 23.

Anyway people, my Sg hotline is still up and running!! haha.. all ready for birthday greetings..hhhahahaa. Charges are the same when u send an sms to a sg phone. but I might not respond, cos charges are high here!

In a good mood currently, as I have just finished my FIRST proposal!!! YAY!

well, before that, I was in a bad mood.

But since my partner is in a bad mood too, I did my best to support her. =)

so finally, job accomplished!!!

Alot of complications happened to me and my colleagues in France, that made life unbearable here. I would attribute these to the plain cultural and language differences. but everyone knows that how can cultural differences be just described as 'plain'?? when culture is something that is created over the years?

Anyway, so in short, there are alot of difficulties living here in France, and there is no support from our employer. so all in all, we are kind of left to die.

With this, I want to talk about redundant/non-redundant systems. QUELLE NERD!!

I know, I know, I am a good 'old nerd!

When we choose to be in a monoganous relationship, we are choosing a non-redundant system. A non-redundant system (for the non-nerds) is a system that has only one processor, and if this processor fails, the whole system is down.

On the other hand, a redundant system, is one with several processors, and when a processor fails, the next one on line will take over the work.

So, yesterday, my non-redundant system was mal functioning, it was down. and I collapsed.

I really hoped sq to help clear my mess, but well, he is too busy clearing his own mess.

I had a terrible night. which ended with tears. Sq cant be with me.

After the hard hard day at work, I got back, and saw a new message on my sg handphone. Thinking that it might be a early BD message. but no. it was an sms from an old friend, informing me of a suicide of a fellow course mate.

I wonder how low can I fall?

I dragged myself to work today, only to find my team mate crying.

ha, so bobian. acted the chirpy hero=)

Anw, feeling very proud of myself of my first proposal!!

just for laughs, OR your pleasure!!!

I had a mail from AdPost:
i am an 18 year old eurasian with a nice body and nice face. i am also quite well endowed. i would like to make money in any way you want me to work for you, i can try to be your escort/model although i have little experience. I am also a very accomplished singer for any kind of event.

email: qwerhjkl666@hotmail.com

er!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyone thinking of using her service???

ha

maybe I should employ her as a stripper for one of my guy friends!! hahahhaa

The email function

2005-10-13T16:34:00.000+02:00

Apparently the email function of blogger doesnt really work from my work place. heh

with the absence of internet at my place, haiz..

leads to the unfortunate absence for this blog.

lots of work to do as of now,

but I fear for my future...

my birthday is coming.

and i feel like an old old girl..

à plus.

it doesnt seem to work now

2005-10-13T11:10:00.000+02:00

As written in the title

Disappointed

2005-10-12T09:32:00.000+02:00

Extremely disappointed with everything here.

I really do not know where to start.

I am wondering for the next 2 years. Where and what should I be doing?

Should I stay in France? Should I go back?

Should I stay in my current department? Should I go back to my old one?

Very disappointed with the way things are done here. But! No talking about work here, cos its e www.

Very very sad.

Testing out this function

2005-10-10T13:45:00.000+02:00

Testing out this function

A blink of an eye

2005-10-07T09:49:00.000+02:00

coming back to singapore and taking a long break here is nice. i guess.

thoughts are running through my head, circling.

i guess, perhaps in paris, I do not have the time to breathe and think. work and other misc things have been catching up on me.

Now sitting at the dentist's, waiting for my turn. oh yah! finally, i get to see my newest acquisation! this fujitsu subnote. its sooo small, i LOVE it!

of course its not first hand stuff. poor people like me. really cannt afford wor..

i met my group of old gal friends yesterday. it was so familiar and nice.

it has been ages since i get to discuss things like which mascara smudges.. etc with girls!! u know, there are very very few young girls in my department. in fact, only one other girl ard my age. and she is not really the girly kind. or rather she is the girly kind, BUT heh.. her taste is different from mine lar.

Why am i at the dentist's?

many of u know that i have this childhood problem of teeth grinding. YES, i am a teeth grinder til now. the doctor's explanation will be that it is due to stress. hmm.. to think that i actually like to have alittle stress to work. but subconciously my body does not seem to be able to take it.

my sis have the same problem.

so here i m, looking for a solution, before i grind all my teeth away. ha.

actually i have been procinstating it, but i met this friend of squeeze, who kind of broke his teeth when grinding it. so i freaked out. heh.

Now, I feel so quite lost. not having my agenda with me (but at least I have my subnote!!). i feel like taking it slow this time, cos i will be back in 3 months' time. or to be exact, 2.5 month's time.

So, for the people that I did not manage to meet up this time round. We shall meet up in December lor. =)

I cant help falling in love with my new subnotebook!! I cant wait to format it and install windows XP. Ha, in fact, I cant wait to ask squeeze to format and install windows XP for me. Haha.

--

Responsibility to the future generation

Parenting is such an important and influencing role, yet there are no courses on parenting.

Recently, I felt the strongest need fo be responsible for our future generation.

I’ve just lost someone dear to me.

My only son.

My rabbit to be exact.

I have actually planned to bring my rabbit with me to Paris this time. But… sad to say, he has left us.

I have failed as a parent.

Now, looking at how the mother across me is fussing over her baby, in the MRT. I feel. People like me should never be allowed to have children. I left my child to be taken care of by another family, for the one year in Paris. And when I took him back. He died.

What does that has to say about me?!

I am absolutely disgusting. I am a menace.

My license to have children should be taken away.

Hence, since yesterday night, looking at the dead body of my dear son, xiao ke. I secretly told myself, I shall not have any children.

Forget it. Forget about reproducing. Forgetting about how cute babies are. Rabbits are cute too! Not matter how cute things are, u cant want to have them JUST BECAUSE they are cute!

I cant. I know I cant. I cant be a mother. I m no mother material.

Although XiaoKe has left. His death was not to go to waste. It taught me a lot of things. Having a child is a commitment. A serious commitment..

If both husband and wife are busy working, and too tired at the end of the day for a baby. They should not have the baby at all! Also, this applies to couples who have to fly around for work. Having grandparents to take care of the baby is kind of irresponsible. Cos yes, you can assign the job of taking care of the baby to the grand parents, but NO, you can even assign the responsibility to them. How the baby is going to turn out as, is ENTIRELY your responsibility.

Now that I have started to rationalize.

Why do people want to have babies?
1because they are cute
2to carry on the family name
3just to reproduce and populate Mother Earth

The first reason is not a reason. It is as irresponsible as to get a puppy as a pet because it is cute. Still unconvinced? Check out the many SPCA posters then. (I dun understand why people are so excited over finding animals new homes. )

Second. If you have no time or energy to teach your child well. Chances are, he is going to add humiliation to your family name, instead of glorifying it. So, why bother? Also, what is the whole point of passing on a family name anyway??? It is really your own choice and your own life. There is no point to make yourself miserable just to carry on the family line.

Thirdly, just to reproduce. Why bother. There are people from India and China which are very densely populated nations. If you are worried that Singapore is not populated enough. Oh well, our government can always attract foreign talents! As we are ever so attractive ;)

ALL IN ALL. Please, oh please, rationalize your choice to reproduce.

Act responsibly. For our future generation.

-------------
Now on the plane back to Paris.

The short stay in Singapore was proven to be very short indeed!!!

In a blink of an eye. Here I am on my way back again. This time, SQ is having computer related problems on their KrisWorld. AND that is why I m not watching my favourite kind of meaningless-funny-bimbotic shows, like Bewitched. Haha. Or Desperate Housewives. Seriously, I haven’t even watched an episode of DH yet. Yeah, I know, I m kind of slow. Well, cant help it that I m in a country where English shows come much later than e other English literate parts of the world. They need the time for translation I guess. Ha.

Sq is happily still in Greece. So no Sq for 4 working days in France. I wonder. What will it be like. I do not feel brave enough myself to face the harsh working environment on my own. I feel afraid. I have lost my courage. And I wonder, where have my courage gone to? I guess it is much easier to be brave when there is someone dear, somewhere near by, loving me and holding me.

On my own now. It is really not easy for me.

Plus, I reckon that I have already forgotten most of the French I knew!! I find myself having a very hard time replying to the emails of my colleagues. C’est juste parce que je ne peux pas trouve les mots!

Anyway, it is all part of placing myself on the line I guess. But I often wonder to myself, if the line is too thin for me.

Whatever it is, there is no use worrying about it, and there is only so such advice someone give can give.. often, you are your best strategist/advisor. Cos you know your situation best, and you know yourself most.

Majulah Singapura

2005-09-14T14:13:00.000+02:00

Can u feel my excitement???

I am sooooo excited to go home!!!!!!!!

So so so so!!

Cant wait any longer!

ARGH!

See you pple soon!!!

Majulah Singapura!
(ok, that is kinda out of point)

Getting old

2005-09-12T17:07:00.000+02:00

Hiya,

The wedding went better than the last one!

cos sq's aunt and parents are great!

But of course the wedding is like the previous wedding long and draggy.

ha, this time around, I did not sit and wait for like 10 +hours til 7am in the morning, for people to finish their partying.

heh, those who know me, will know that I am really not a party person!

The previous time, I was soooooo bored, counting the seconds as they pass. and finally getting to go home at 7am! it was kinda horrible. paiseh lar, people like me, really not suitable to cheong like youngsters.

SO, this time. I did a ridiculous thing.

I went off with the old people.. hahahhaaaa.. I was the only one below 65yrs old to leave the party so soon. which is at 1am anyway. and the couple did not ever danced their first dance.

Yeah. very ridic hor.

I did not feel weird at first, so I happily squeezed into a car-ful of the olds. Then.

Then they started talking.

This lady was saying that she left her car at the party place and she will pick it up the day after when we go back for lunch. because she cant drive during the night.

Then they started talking about the 'youngsters', that they are going to party til 3-4am.. etc...

And one started to wonder if the hotel has lift, in the case that she is not living in the ground level.......

-_-

She's 85 btw. but kinda like me!! haha.. she needs the lift too!! i hate stairs man.

oops, i m old..

it must be really weird for a 'youngster" to refuse to party. cos sq's mum kept asking if i m ok, if i m sick or somthing like that!! hahaha
*************************************************

oh anw,
i dun think i will be having that party, cos its always difficult to really catch up during parties.

so will do my best to split my time!!

Birthday party or no???

2005-09-09T16:02:00.000+02:00

going for another wedding this week, wish me luck!!!

I wonder when will I start to be bombarded with the pink bombs around..

Uncle wesley, when is urs huh???

:P

-----------------------------------

Really excited to go back to Sg. But I havent started packing yet!!

ARGH!!

Wondering, should I celebrate my birthday in Sg? and gather everyone?

But at the same time, if I do that, I wun have time to catch up with everyone no?

ok, so, my dearest most cherished readers, what do u think? should I book a place and invite all for my bd?

Suggestions like: 'Its ur bd, u decide. ' Are NOT welcomed ok? hahhaa.. see, I can predict some responses.

Precisely because I cant decide, that is why I am asking u all..

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me face n drop ur opinions in the tag board to your right!

Talking to myself

2005-09-08T18:15:00.000+02:00

So I talked to myself.

why am I doing so many things I dun have to do?

1. I enjoy the challenge
2. I want to have passive income > my expenditure
3. I am actually enjoying myself

Q: If you are enjoying urself, why are u so stressed?
A: Because I am putting in more time than I can for my well-being. As in, I cant enjoy my life, I can go out, or spend time with people.
and it is only due to the VM.

Q:if the Vm is causing u all this, why are u continuing?
A:because it has the greatest potential for attaining passive income.

Q:do u really think that working together with E is possible? is it possible to big up an empire with him?
A:well, he is very disciplined. but its getting very difficult because of that. he has no need to socialise at all.

Q:why do u have the need to socialise?
A:I dunno. am I able to give it up? i dunno. what is the point?

Q:Is there other ways to attain passive income like VM can?
A:Maybe thru YA???

If i quit from VM, I can get back a sum of $$, and finish paying my loans..

But VM is my baby, I thought of the idea, and found an untapped resource! and how can I give it up so easily?

ARGH!! i can go on forever!

My dilemas

2005-09-08T18:01:00.000+02:00

I feel so useless..

cant help at all.

I have problems launching my server, so now I cant even do anything, but to wait for the client to go off or something.

I hate this feeling!! ARGH!

anw, back to my career path (again!)

ha, when will I be sick of it??

I want to talk about my company, but its still the world wide web, so I will just say, my future is still not decided yet!!

recently found myself in a very stressed up state.

I used to enjoy everything I do. and i think its important to be so!

As for my real-office work, its ok so far. will be better in a week's time, when my real verdict is out!

As for my outside-work work, it has been a mess, a stress.

I think I will write in cryto from now on..

*YA
SM are giving me some problems earlier due to misuse of customers. solved them. auto-pilot again now.

Verdict : Currently shopping list is up, have to get manufacturers' contacts when I am in Shanghai.

*MU. In fact, I think its quite good so far, cos it has been auto-pilot. The problem now is to get all the things I've lent out to my employees. ==> tough job.
Verdict:
Have to get back my stuff
Pick out the seniors and train them for instructing
Since business is not that a high tide, there is no need for coordinator
Write out the syllabus! and get ready the materials required
Come up with a comprehensive price chart

*VM. Pushing for rapid expansion now
Verdict :
Most effort required. required to tally stuff etc. really a pain.
Required 2hrs per weekday. 4hrs per sat/sun.

----------------------------------------------------------

Analysing the effort required, we shall go to rewards.

*YA
Potential to earn $$ very fast
But not for long term, cos trading will become boundaryless in i dunno, 5-10years?.
requires some capital

*MU
No big profits
If efforts is placed in to get business partners, it will be great.
But can be hard to manage, due to employee's temperments etc.
requires no capital

*VM
Big potential in long term for passive income.
requires capital

-------------------------------------------------------------

What should I do? VM is burning me out!! Plus I have to work with someone................

Disney!

2005-09-07T17:00:00.000+02:00

Ok, finally, my going-to-grow-mushroom long awaited pictures of disneyland.

I only upload the pics i took with the 'characters'.

Comment 2

2005-09-06T19:27:00.000+02:00

Here is one more funny comment from Elephany's blog:

Tian ah.......

Anonymous said...

Hi
Your blog is fantastic ! Definitely I will come back here .

I believe in happiness. For me, laughing is the best medicine. Let us share the medicine at my pharmacy . Surely, you will love My pharmacy.

Always Be Happy

yeah everyone!

PLEASE ALWAYS BE HAPPY hor

if not, i will leave comments on ur blog about my pharmacy!

hhahaa

It*s My Life

2005-09-06T19:19:00.000+02:00

Since my friends are into this carebear game, i did the test while waiting for my server (again!).

I dun get it! i m cheer bear. why am i cheer bear???????

	Cheer Bear You're the Care Bear cheerleader! Your spunky personality and optimisim lifts everyone's spirit. Though you want everyone to be happy, you stand your ground on issues you feel strongly about and this can bring disunity among your friends. Despite this, you are a true believer in working together.
*Take the Which Care Bear Are You?* Quiz!**

Comments nowadays..

2005-09-05T13:12:00.000+02:00

Comments that make me laugh til my teeth drop!

For all out there, who have enabled comments in ur blog.

Apparently there are some smartass who came up of this idea of spamming the comments of blogs!

Ha, quite smart I think.

This is one I read on Elephany's blog, and I actually believed that it is real:

Anonymous said...

Hi, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
broadband phone company vonage service site covering broadband phone company vonage service related stuff.

(of course these fellows included a link, but I am not obliged to help this person spam even more)

so just, i saw on my poor friend dolly's blog:

Anonymous said...

I like your style. By the way, if you're interested in teeth whitening methods united kingdom related material, you'll find a range of teeth whitening methods united kingdom related resources at my site.

how fake can a comment get??????

ARGH!

Of course, on my site, as I am using a free chat box, we will have to put up with undesirable popups.

So, no matter how badly you want to have girls with big boobs to be ur friends, DO NOT click on the AdultFriendFinder link, ok? :p

The wedding

2005-09-02T11:39:00.000+02:00

Ha, finally pictures of the wedding.

see how I proscinate?? :p

Of course it includes the 'bra' game, where girls are to take off their bras. duh!

Speaking of which, I am attending another wedding. in 1+weeks' time. wish me luch. actually i will rather not go........

=(

anw, here are the pictures!

Hui jia

2005-09-02T10:52:00.000+02:00

I want to go home.

I want to go home.

I want to go home to Singapore. Please let me go.

='(

I feel so foreign here.

Can you imagine a .. french?.. or better and easier to imagine, a china chinese, who cant speak english in singapore? and all she knows is maybe shanghainese(???) and not even chinese, although she can speak some chinese, but not alot.

and she is like working in Singapore.

I can associate so well with the foreigners in Singapore now. except that Singapore, as she is, is a tolerant place for people of different cultures. A place of racial tolerance.

but not this place i am in. where u have to speak their language, or get screwed.

I want to go home.

I really want to go home.

I am tired of my french friends even. I know they are nice people. but......

can any one of them really understand me? can I ever feel as comfortable with them as a dear Singaporean friend?

-----------------------------------------------

Some little happy things that brighten my gloomy day today.

Prima taste (my help to cheat, cos they make great instant sauces for me to cook!!) is having a sale at Suntec i think! Mummy is going to help me stock up my food supplies!=)
ha

Also, one dear friend just started her blog! ha. i love my friends to have blogs, so that i know what is happening in their lifes!

i like!

speaking of which. blog more often leh, u pple! :p

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel like giving up my relationship...........

Chicken wings

2005-09-01T13:13:00.000+02:00

(what a blog title)
long long never update liao hor?

ha. so glad my singlish is still to tune..heh

anyway, havent been updating, cos I have really really very very busy.

Left work at 2200 yesterday, but a good thing is that we have a pizza dinner sponsored by our project!! ha clap clap clap. well, at least there is food to motivate me. i ordered chicken wings instead of pizza. ha, i think some of you know my obssession with chicken wings. I like Pizza Hut's spicy wings, and u know, those BBQ chicken wings. KFC wings. McCrispy wings. etc.

heh.

now back to work.

funny, i just ate, and I feel hungry again!!!!!!!

uh huh. i hope i m not getting fat!

Relationship responsibility

2005-08-26T10:37:00.000+02:00

Firstly.

I HATE unwelcomed guests here in my blog. you know who you are.

I do not like you visitng my blog.

so dun. thanks.

if you continue, i will just have to shut down this blog, and start
another one anonymous.

And DUN TREAT ME LIKE AN IDIOT!

I might be one of the most technologically challenged computer engineers
around, but i do know what is an IP address.

So, basically, i will definitely know it, if you were to visit my blog.

so dun be a fool.

i know that it is much much more than those 3 times that you 'admitted'
that you visited my blog.

so, any more of this shit. I will change my blog address. n be anonymous.

I realised that I have been posting less and less than before, because of this shit.

grr.
-----------------------------------------------

Hi you people that I like!

=)

ha

I am not a nasty person ok?

Recently, it seems that girls around me are having the same problems.

Coincidentally.

Responsibility in a relationship. how important is that?

It is factual that we have to be responsible to our partners. as in. not
to cheat with someone else behind (or in front!) of our other halfs.

Visualise this scenario:
Friend A, she went with another guy, whilst having a bf. for easy naming, old bf == Bf A, new bf == Bf B.
So, she told Bf B about Bf A, but she did not tell Bf A about Bf B.
Bf B loves her too much to let go. meanwhile Bf A is kept in the dark.
now Bf B have doubts. she still have Bf A, no?

Visualise another scenario:
Friend B.
she went with another guy, whilst having a bf. for easy naming again =P, old bf == Bf A, new bf == Bf B.
she did the responsible thing. she broke with the old bf to be with the new one.
THEN. the new one wants a break.
She lost both.
------------------------------------------------
Doesnt it pay to be relationship responsible?

or is it better to be selfish, to protect yourself?

Now, men are all so changeable. would you choose to protect yourself to the maximum, so that you will not end up alone? or will you still play by the morally correct rules?

For me, at least for now, I can afford to play by the morally correct rules. except that I suck at ending relationships. cos when the guy begs for a chance, I will go soft and give in, again and again, even if I know well that there is no chance..

Super Nova Stress

2005-08-23T00:39:00.000+02:00

It is late. yet here I am, blogging.

why? cos i slept straight when i got home.

Too tired.

too tired from yesterday's breakdown from stress.

With all stress about having to have a higher french level than an average french.

In 1 month's time.

I feel so stressed. like never before.

In fact, I have never felt so stressed in my life. cos things come naturally.

Or at least, last minute work will suffice.

but not now. it is not going to help now.

I realised.

the only real stress one has to face. is the stress coming from within.

In fact, no one else is giving me the stress. No one else is piling on expectations on me.

why I am so stressed?

no one is going to expect me to be great in french.

But i myself know, it is crucial. for my job.

so hence, I cannot let myself off so easily.

I must force it onto myself somehow.

it has been so immerse that I broke down. big time yesterday.

stressing poor sq together with me.

I never know stress could be so damaging. cos all the while, I welcome stress. I do not understand why people complain about stress. cos if there is no stress, it means that there is no real challenge. no?

but now. its like. i dun even really dare to sleep. every second is really thinking about french.

How many of our peers are able to speak n write English so well to do presentations? Not alot. inspite of speaking english all our lives.

Now, i have to do it. In french. a language far more complicated than english.

I have to survive!

My delicious Chicken Soup

2005-08-16T18:15:00.000+02:00

First, I shall start this blog by commending someone.

For she,

with the so very few precious hours that she is awake.

She actually used some of the awake time to read my blog!!

*CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Everyone gives 'psn' (as u can see from the tagboard) or fondly known as 'Elephany' a pat on the back!!!

hahaaa..

Doesnt this sound like the commencing of some church service, or some MLM talk?????

they always like to make awkward newcomers feel welcomed.

Not knowing that by doing so, the newcomers will only feel even more awkward?? I mean. being new is awkward enough. you dun really need strangers giving u the i-try-my-best-to-smile-so-brightly-and-pretend-to-look-like-i-like-you-but-in-actual-fact-i-do-not-even-know-you smile.

ANW. cheers to ELEPHANY! hahaa

Yesterday, I just had a thought.

Other than just bring a foot spa to France, I want to create a small corner garden in my apartment, so that I can relac one corner there. =p

so excitedly, I msned and told Shifu (his blog is on the right) that I want to have a small gardern in my apartment.

Of course, one would wonder, what a normal sane 24+ year old straight man do at an unearthly hour of 5.30am in Singapore?

Make a guess???

ha.

As clearly displayed in his MSN nick.

He is .. REMOVING HIS CORN!

and he still tell me got hole after removing his corn. how pucky is that??

Almost made me puke out the Herbal Chicken Soup that I was drinking.

Ha, anw, which brings me to:

you know, i am more n more in love with my own cooking.

it is sooo delicious that I cant stop.

I can just bowl the chicken again n again, and put more and more herbs.

then drink. and fill up with more water.

THEN drink again.

and this cycle could go on forever!

help!

I do. I do love my chicken soup so!

Misjudgements

2005-08-15T14:09:00.000+02:00

Internet has been unstable.

Just like my life.

It is funny how people who do not even know u, are able to make so many judgements about u?

To what extent do u need to bother about such baseless judgements, and when to care, and when to heck care.

Having a rich experience in this area. The following has been my rules to follow by:

If the person knows me pretty well, I will be very affected, and reflect on myself. Only I know who knows me pretty well. The amount of people is this tier, can be easily counted using one hand.

If the person knows me fairly well, I will ask more questions, find out about it, and ponder on my own. I will bother to explain myself.

If the person knows me like a normal friend. I will find it weird. I might find out about it. I might not be bothered to explain myself, depending on the level of difficulty to explain.

If the person does not know me at all. I will just sneer. Ponder a little. And grumble a little and let it go. Cos my dearest friends will always be there to support me, no?

It’s the same that I am very protective of my friends.

Of course there are exceptions.

If the person is of a certain credibility, I will listen and learn. In fact, I am more than willing to listen and learn.

Of a certain credibility, meaning:
(I dun care about IQ level, cos some with Iqs can turn out be be rather idiotic)
-having an accomplished career.
Very difficult to explain hor. To be it very simply, they are the top 10% amongst the graduates.
I mean, having an accomplished career, to me, means that they are smart, street wise, knowledge, are able to judge situations well (so the likelihood of them misjudging me is low), determined, driven.

-a politician.
Haha.. I dunno, I still feel that to be a politician, u have to have a gift to ‘size’ people up. Hence the possibility of misjudging me is low.

-experienced leader.
U know, those type of old old CEOs. They have seen all shapes and sizes of people. Knowledgeable and wise. And they have to have good judgement of people to be successful no?

Then… I dunno liao.

Ha, anyway. It feels great to have my rules out. It is the first time I actually sat down to think about it, and it is due to my internet being down. :P

There has been a lot of misjudging going on…

In work, and in my private life.

The work one, I kind of worked it out.

In my private life, it got me fuming for quite a bit. But I think I m going to ignore it.

An ex-bf accused me of lying to him. Saying that I am with this female colleague, but in actual fact, I am with a guy.

Which is SO UN TRUE.

On one hand, I have to console and comfort this friend for 3 days 2 nites. And have all my supplies of chips and coca-light being depleted in the meantime :(

On the other hand, I am faced with all the false accusations.

Plus I have mountains of work to do! (not office work of course)

How can life be so frustrating.

I had enough. I had enough of explaining myself.

I am angry that someone who used to be so close to me, who is supposed to know who I really am. Is able to misjudge me like that. Maybe none of my bfs really really know me. :( which is kinda a very sad thought. I do hope not. I shall stop being angry by accusations of previous bfs. EVER AGAIN! Being angry, and explaining myself, it is such a tiring process.

He actually checked my bank account statements to verify if I was doing what I claimed I was doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH! I am soooo angry.

I am so sad, so disappointed. I am not a difficult person to understand, no? :(

Now, I DUN CARE, I DUN CARE ANYMORE!

You never know what the people who are ‘close’ to you, really REALLY think about me, unless things turn ugly, no?

To top up with that. I am no liar. I do hide things. But I do not lie.

For example:
Ossie: My bf is SOOOO cute hor?
Me: yup, his expression is cute. (which is true!)

But ossie also knows that I never say straight that: Your bf is cute.

HAHAHAA.. see, I am a honest honest girl. Dearest ossie can vouch for it! :P

Haha. Dun kill me hor!!!!!

THanks for all of u who gave me the support. Love u pple!!

With looks, comes shit.

2005-08-13T19:29:00.000+02:00

some things have been going through my mind.

I am starting to hate adult life.

I loved it. more than school.

because after work, I do not even need to think about it.

Isnt it cool?

but now. it just became ugly.

What is wrong with looking the way that I am?

I remember in school, some people think I am bimbotic. just because I have the looks, means I must lack in some other areas. the most popular belief is that I lack in the brain department.

which. is ridiculous. not because I think that i am superly smart. BUT the people who say that about me, always with grades like C or tabao-ing (failing) subjects in school. yes i know it is hard not to tabao in our very demanding course. almost everyone did tabao. but I din. and I am proud of it. if you are smarter than me, maybe I am able to swallow your comments about me being stupid easier.

But no. oh god. we have to destroy people like that. mean, silly and sour.

Then again, that doesnt look so bad now. as compared to the adult world.

JUST because I am offered a position. that requires other people years to reach. the first thought that reaches many is: the director wants to sleep with me. or someone high up in the management wants to sleep with me.

er.

I got all depressed yesterday night. Poor sq. he had to tolerate me. for quite a couple of nights, I was depressed.

I really pity sq sometimes. He has been in poor health recently. and the doctor said that it is due to stress. either work or gf.

ha.

and yet. I am stressing him again and again.

I am stressing myself too. I am again and again disappointed with myself. because I am not able to pick up french fast enough.

I am angry with myself. WHY CANT I JUST SPEAK FRENCH FLUENTLY TO SHUT UP THE STUPID PEOPLE!?!

And yet in front of my sg colleagues, it is a different story. On one hand, I want to show that I am capable. on the other, I am so afraid that they will start being wary of me, cos of my accelerated progression of career path.

Well, it is not as if my pay is going to be any different.

Also. In fact, sadly, there is a high chance that I got it due to my looks. WHY IS THE WORLD LIKE THIS?

So in any case, I might take a step back, if it were to be expected of me to sleep with anyone that I am not willing to.

I think I do not want a successful career that badly that I want to betray myself.

Come to think of it, I do not mind if I am offered the chance because of my looks. But I mind a lot if I am expected to sleep with anyone.

I mean, looks is a part of me. And it is a tool that I can use. Why be so straight and stupid not to use it? Other people might have other talents that I dun. So if I dun use all the advantages I have. It is a little silly.

Anyway. I am rather upset about this. As it is probably true that I was employed because of my looks again. SIGH. It is not as if I am really really good looking lor!! Why must I face this kind of things??!!??

If I were to look like michelle reis. I really dun mind man. :P

But I dun. So why is there still such shit?!?

Things to do

2005-08-12T16:51:00.000+02:00

Out of the bigger things I have to settle:
I have small things too.

-Find a loving home for my dear XiaoKe (anyone is interested in looking after an adorable rabbit?)
asking squeeze to find out about animal transport to france.

I think I might be going to be very poor.
-Bring my labby to the toshiba repair centre, and if it is not able to be repaired, buy a 2nd hand labby
*spotted a 2nd hand ibook g3 for 600 : emailed e seller
-Get e camera from sis, or buy a 2nd hand one
*done, i m getting it from sis
-get a foot spa, my feet has been sore every morning I wake up
*found one for 19/ buying price for 21, spoke to ossie liao
-other things include CPF trading account

-NTU Alumini Application (anyone joining? join leh!!!)
-buy air tickets to shanghai
*i think going with thai air for 2 for abt 900
from 22sept to 9oct
emailed family liao
-buy a mp3 or something player, because my MD spoil liao =(
*found a tdk one for 70usd
cannot learn french liao =(
-go for my annual haircut n colour or treatment
-go for a mani/pedi and buy pedi things to bring back to france
-get all the prima taste things i need
*get 4 of all flavours i think. from ntuc
-get other food supply (je sais pas quoi)
-get a business developer for vm
-get my makeup stuff back from hy
-get business stuff proper
-get the thing for my teeth, i have been grinding them, so i need to get protection.
-get new contact lenses
-make new specs? cos my current specs Y Y. =(
-should i shop for some pro pro clothes??/? cos doing business when i came back
-i think i m stressed...

i think still got more things.. lemme think

Triste Femme

2005-08-12T14:53:00.000+02:00

Its been booked!

My air tickets of course!

I am officially flying on 15th sept, at what time, i dunno.

As my sissy is in Shanghai having her internship. and since she cant come back. So my family has decided that me and my mum fly up to Shanghai to look for sis and dad instead, on the 22 september. WHICH leaves me, i think not much time in singapore. =( I will do my best to arrange.

***************************************************
A dark cloud is hovering ard my head.

just yesterday, my friend sent me a link to this blog which describes a girl, who got pregnant by her bf, and how she is coping with it. In fact, her bf, LX, abandonned her after she told him that she is pregnant. and accused her for delibrately getting herself pregnant just to tie him to her.

AND to top things up, LX is a scholar, a government one.

The short blog for just like ard 2 weeks old. is hacked into, or so I think.

Today morning, I visited the site, to find that the blog doesnt not exist.

Very puzzled, I retyped the address. But, still no results.

And just now. I visited it again. only to find it all white. blank. without any data.

Is it the vicious bf who hit back?

or is it some mysterious authority?

I really do not know.

I just feel so so so sad for her.

Take care to all. Girls, pls do not get urselves pregnant.

Girls are especially vulnerable to this. To 'keep' their men, to satisfy their men, or to get love.

it is so sad

(NOT) Just other deordorant..

2005-08-09T13:12:00.000+02:00

I find this need to write about this ABSOLUTELY ridiculous advertisement that I have seen in the cinema, i think it is on TV here too.

It is about this brand of deodourant, that I have already forgotten about it. => which proves - NOT EFFECTIVE!

The advert started with this asian couple (i m not sure about their nationality) fighting with each other => aka Hidden Dragon, couching tiger cum Hero- style.

They were happily fighting and doing their 'qing gong' over lakes etc(walking and fighting on the water basically).

AND out of nowhere, the woman flew up and did a Bruce-lee or Huang Feihong poise. U know the one where u put your hands up like an eagle, with one leg on the ground and another leg upwards.

AND AND, she used her feet, (in fact the first and second toes) and PINCHED the guy's nipple!!!!!

AHHHH...OMG

and then the man was in great pain, and he bared his bare chest.

THEN! flowers started flowing out from his chest.

THEN the girl, she floated towards the guy and rested her head demurely onto the guy's chest.

and the picture of the deodourant appears........................ -_-

guys, will u buy this product? girls, do u want ur guy to use this product?

Plans=)

2005-08-04T11:27:00.000+02:00

BIG hugs to all for ur cooperation :p

AND ALSO, those who offered to take leave to play with me!! *MUAKS* muhahahaa

Cussie n Grand Cussie:
Sushi buffet

Cussie n Grand Cussie n Weasley:
KBox

Cussie n Grand Cussie n Grandma n (perhaps) mum n 1st aunty:
Crystal Jade

Shifu-Alex:
-Beach road, hokien prawn noodle n tang yuan.
and maybe Tulong thingy.

Guardian Angel :p
Mushroom Pot @ Stadium Walk

Jingle ling
Taos@paradiz

Mel mel
Seoul Garden

Elephany
klunch + nasi lemasek

Dollie, Elephany, Daffy, Avogardo
Ajisen + scoopz

Junde
Pastamania@suntec

Jancy, Lancy, Mancy
DOU JIANG YOU TIAO + maybe beef hor fun??

Chris
Fish & Co (preference thrusday)

Ossie n Amicable
Thai Express plus garlic icecream

Mixing n Matching

2005-08-02T12:53:00.000+02:00

Hiya!!

now all i have to do is to mix and match dates with the places to eat!

Including these!

Gosh!

I wonder how am I going to finish all the food!

it is maciam like playing crossroads! (shi zhi lu kou)

Speaking of that. anyone interested in playing??? just 2-3 a team can liao.

Play leh!! haha.

Foods, I miss you!!

2005-08-01T16:18:00.000+02:00

On top of the list of foods that I have listed that I want to try when I get back to Singapore.

I shall not forget about my old favourites foods right?? :P

.-*~Voici la liste!~*-.
-----------------------------
-Beach road, hokien prawn noodle
-Kenny rogers, macaroni & cheese
-Suki sushi buffet, for stuffing myself with BBQ unagi AND salmon sashimis, chawamushi, and fried tofu
-suntec, mini personal steamboat buffet with herbal chinese soup
-Shrimp paste fried rice from Thailand express at colours at the bay. Esplanade. with cross ordering of Garlic ice cream from Garlic resto
-Scoopz from Parkway Parade with AJISEN ramen!!! the pak ku ramen.
-satay
-or jian
-Maxwell market's curry rice
-Maxwell market's wu xiang
(HELP me salivating liao!)
-Mee hun kuay
-Nasi lemak
-bedok bah cou mee
-Roti prata
-Seoul garden (i know i shouldnt be missing this, BUT..)
-fish & co. seafood platter
-BBQ! satay, hotdogs, etc
-Geylang taiwanese mian xian + yong tiao
-Pasar malam food: fried siew mai, taiwanese sausage, tutu
-peanut pasted tang yuan, Beach road
-Geylang beef horfun
-Delifrance (haha) for breakfast
-Ya kun!! kaya toast, with egg
-dark fried noodles
-char siew rice
-BBQ chicken wings
-chicken rice
-prawn mee
-laksa
-White wine pasta from Pasta mania
-salty fish fried rice
-DURIANS!
-ice kacang
-chendol
-dim sum buffet @china square
-crystal jade
-forest of mushroom pasta
-smoked salmon pasta
-mango tango from fullerton
-black pepper crab
-goreng pisang

Singaporean Plans =)

2005-08-01T11:46:00.000+02:00

Since my days in Singapore is scarce.

only 2 weeks. I want to make a list of all the people I die die must meet up with:p

I hope i dun forget to meet up anyone!!!

Voici la liste (in no order of priority hor!!)
-----------------------------------------------------------
-MUM! and dad (hopefully)
-Elephany, dolly, daffy, Avocardo('s constant) -> for absolutely senseless batter
side note, simply because he decided to name himself that, after we learnt it during chemistry lessons ha
-Jingle ling, Sand.. for girl talk
-Shifu.. for his wise ramblings..haha
-Jingle ling, luohan, sand, big piece of meat, kit kat, ah huat, aaron, etc u will know it if you are in that group lar!! AND their other halves of course! hmm pretty big group.
-Fred, my fav metrosexual..haha.
-Joanne. and other half.
-Noel, hao-ge, siewmai, mel mel jie, kang kang, ting, hilda, kevin, victor?, panda, sure-win etc JC pple for eating alot alot alot. and of course, for poking fun at siewmai.hhaa.. no lar, we have been always very kind!
-Cussie!! and grande cussie and other half(haha) that is you, weasley.
-Ossie and Amicable
-Von?
-Rajat and dev etc? i dunno. rajat should be married by then, no? u dunno
-Chris.
-Couper girl (primary one meilleure amie)
-Ossie + other girls (ossie, i wonder if we could locate weiqing and the rest??? should be fun leh!! i got contact with jocasta. haha)
-prob elephany for fashion advice ..ha.. am ever so proud of my buyer friend.
-of course my gang members. all the -ancys.
-Grand pa (father side)
-Grand ma (mother side)
-miscellaneous relatives?
-mm ming for badminton?
-Prof tay! (not v close to prof yew so i think just say hi can liao)
-hopefully, find a business developer, and meet all the poeple i need to meet for business.
-set up CPF trading account, etc
-settle 10000000... adminstrative things

Corruption?

2005-07-29T13:57:00.000+02:00

something dramatic happened during lunch.

someone insulted my country.

Because we were discussing that the slow adminstration in France, cos we have not got our insurance, after staying for almost one year.

and an obnoxious french man said. Well, at least we are slow, but u have corruption.

WHAT?!?

Singapore? corruption!?!

I was soooo pissed, I asked for the proof.

cos I know jolly well, that we are in the top 10 uncorrupted countries.

I was sooo pissed. In fact, he is the cacawats guy. Ossie, you know him too.

So I search for the information, and slammed it in his face.

My country did not let me down. we are ranked 5th. and France is 25th.

oh, a coincidence is that it is 5 to the power of 2.=)

ok lar, in retrospect, I reacted too denfensively. but he did apologise after seeing the facts.

I hate people who argue without facts. isnt it stupid to be proud of your country, and argue blindly, without facts??????

My Outcome

2005-07-29T11:40:00.000+02:00

Hi all,

I will be back in September for around 2 weeks. most prob back in mid september.=)

Then I will be back again. for my career, I have not much of a choice now. and the opportunity I was given is great.

as such, there might a possibility that I have to stay for one more year here. OR i might be back in Asia, HK or Shanghai, or Tokyo or Singapore, or wherever. That will be decided at end of december, after my training in that aspect.

So, as you might have expected, the meeting went well. I had the blessings from all above. I want to thank everyone who has believed in me. HA, sounds so drama!!!!!!! but really. When I took this step towards my goal, I know I am up against really strong competitors. ALL have more experience than me, have held managerial positions. I feel like a small small fry. who is not even fluent enough in French. I have too many incompetencies. which is a big blow to my confidence. BUT ha, I can fake confidence well.

Anyway, I made a quiet resolution to myself. To study my french religuously. (which I havent been doing) :( why oh why are there so many distractions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me!!! ha. I need more discipline.

Hence I thought of a way. each day after work, I will go straight to a brasserie ( a cafe), and study my french for 2 hours. before I head home. If not, I will be really really too distracted at home, and I find it hard to turn people down (okok, I am too playful:p)

so yup. starting from today, oh today I can only study for 1 hour, cos I have tennis. And I am thinking if I should go karting with the others tomorrow............

Hmmm......... decisions decisions...........

oh, monday I am meeting up this new friend of mine, a malaysian gal. happy. she will be like my only taste of local flavour, if all the rest of my colleagues leave. =( amy is leaving too.

went to my gallant's house to eat yesterday. with another french. I guess, I am good enough for conversational french, but not yet business french. HELP!!!!

I will focus on my outcome!!!!!!

2005-07-28T11:57:00.000+02:00

i am off to a v important interview in 2 mins! wish me welll!!!!!!!!!!

Happily ever after, My foot!

2005-07-26T16:27:00.000+02:00

Suddenly, I realised.

Everyone is leaving. Only a few are left in Paris.

Amy has finished her masters and going back to Paris.

And everything.

The other colleagues in my area are happily counting down the days to go back to singapore.

Me? I am just happy that I am going to get back to singapore to see my family, my friends, and my beloved country.

I am really super satisfied here. Obviously not.

Yet there are many factors that made me make the decision to stay.

In contrast to the popular belief. it is not because of love.

I feel that I am at a point of my life that I am not placing love as my primary priority.

It was.

But now, suddenly it isnt.

Probably it is due to the incidents that kept hitting me straight on the face. that love seems to be something unattainable.

I remembered the times when I strongly believed in the term 'Happily ever after'.

it was a much simpler time.

I loved fairy tales. I loved shows with happy endings.

now......

when I went to Disneyland again, and saw the parade.

Unlike the last time that I was seeing the parade.

Last time, I was so excited to see each disney couple. being together in a Xin Fu manner. and waving to the crowd.

This time, when i see each disney couple. I wonder. do they argue? do they fight behind the screens?

do they even sleep on the same bed.

have the 'real' beauty and the beast divorced?

All these, we never know.

Simply because the story always ends with they got married. etc.

but NEVER EVER more than that.

I mean, of course they seem all lovey dovey lar!

They are like forever stuck in their honeymoon period what.

I mean, its the same for almost all couples who first started no?

I feel cheated.

Although I know I do not have the right to feel so.

But I do.

The price of snacking too much

2005-07-24T22:34:00.000+02:00

Note: cacawats (forgot the spelling already)== some peanut snack that i have been eating.

The Cinema at Franklin Roosevelt=)

2005-07-24T22:14:00.000+02:00

Definitely the nicest on Champs Elsyee.

I've been to the George V one. it is not as nice.

What is really nice is the beautiful purple and gold toilet, and the main hall.

enjoy=)

Batman review and other things

2005-07-21T15:12:00.000+02:00

ha, i think i have to clarify.

the club review that i posted up earlier, is not as sleazy as u think.
as in, there are no oral, given or received, by the male waiters, or bartenders ok?!?

ok. good that i have clarified that.

even though there are bars where people just go to have sex with each other in Paris. a conservative person (like me!) really cant imagine such a place.
***********************************************
anw. yesterday i went to watch Batman, FINALLY!!
i liked it. well. except for the fact that it is rather impossible to believe.
There are some basic queries in my head.

1. how come batman has to make his metal bat-shaped secret weapon MANUALLY?!?
does he have the time? if I am not wrong, he has to work right? PLUS he has night activities.
2. the vaporising machine. hmm. it turns all fluid into vapour.
so smart. what about human tears, saliva, or blood for that matter!
how are people still able to open their eyes when their eye balls are turning into vapour?!?
what about sweat?!? etc. I can still see sweat on Rachel's face!how can it be so stupid!
3. the people who breathed in the vapour. they will lost their mind, or die maybe, in like maybe 30mins or so?!? (like Rachel did, the first time she took it)
she fainted.
how come the rest of the people who has inhaled the thing, is able to run around, and be afraid of each other?!?!!! i know i know, she has taken a strong does. BUT the people are running around in a mist full of that vapour! surely their dose will not be less than hers.

there are more things that i want to complain about the film. but I guess i will stop now.

Oh, the cinema I watched it in, is gorgeous!
it is the one on Champs Elysée. Franklin Roosevelt.
I mean, it is not spectular. but it definitely has a class of its own. of course, cos the people who watch movies on Champs elysée are supposed to be rich, so the other movie goers are like cladded in their guccis and LVs. not me lar. sadly. but i like the atmosphere here.
anyway it costs the same, so why not?
will post pictures as soon as I can!

I wonder when did I start to be such a sucker for nice ambience.. I guess I wasnt so obssesive when I was younger.
oh well, I am a visual person.
****************************************
recently there are so many issues.
including the NKF thingy.
and of course that famous babe who posted pictures of herself naked on her blog.
then after it. this girl went on to bare her breasts during this recent blogger's conference in singapore. and like pressed them against an attached man for a photo.
Kenny (that lucky man) posted it on his blog.
after, the famous Xiaxue wrote about it angrily.
Kenny took it down apologetically..
then now Xiaxue's blog is hacked.
isnt this all so fun?

Self bashing

2005-07-20T12:34:00.000+02:00

As someone who is very proud of who I am, and my heritage. I find it really hard to tolerate when under-exposed-yet-want-to-act-like-he/she-has-travelled-widely people bash ourselves.

be it bashing asians. bashing chinese in general. or bashing singaporeans (mainly, self bashing)

I hardly see foreigners bashing singaporeans, but singaporeans doing self-bashing can be commonly seen.

why is it always like that?!?

anyway

my colleague was asking, why do I not speak with all the 'Lahs' and 'Lors', as he know quite a number of malaysians, and they speak like that.

I replied, of course I do! I love Singlish. But also, it is important not to mix Singlish with English. (the same with Singlish and Chinese or whatever language that is in our beloved rojak-like language)

In professional situations, I prefer to stick to English, and in casual occassions, Singlish. and I am sure alot of singaporeans are doing the same, no?

Driving, from a big fat ignorant person.

2005-07-19T21:31:00.000+02:00

July 11, 2005

ROAD RAGE
Lost sight of humanity in drive to do well?

I READ the report, 'The road to rage' (ST, July 6).

Having lived and travelled extensively overseas, I can attest that my fellow Singaporean drivers and riders are the worst.

Many of them use the roads with total disregard for the safety of other road users.

Over the last 18 months, I have been living in Jakarta.

Anyone who has been there would know that the traffic is heavy during peak hours and the roads are congested. Sometimes, it is total mayhem.

But despite all the chaos, drivers are polite and allow others to overtake them.

No rude gestures, no hurling of vulgarities, no sounding of the horn and no staring at each other.

Maybe it is in their nature or maybe they have accepted the fact that rushing is not going to get you out of the jam any faster, and getting angry is not worth it.

In Singapore, it will be hard to find such drivers.

We may be living in a most modern city but our behaviour is primitive.

Try to signal that you are changing lanes and you will suddenly find cars speeding up from behind to block you. It's like them telling you: 'How dare you cut into my space?'

Even at pedestrian crossings, it is not uncommon to see drivers not giving way to pedestrians or driving on even before people have crossed the road.

I have even seen inconsiderate drivers cutting right across the path of young children at pedestrian crossings, endangering their lives.

Canadian drivers are probably the best in the world and I think we can learn a lot from them.

The Canadians have no courtesy campaigns to get them to be courteous and drive safely.

They have no fines either. It comes right from their heart.

During a trip to Toronto last year, I was standing at a road junction waiting to cross.

A car came up and stopped at the junction. I looked at him and waited for him to move on. He looked at me and waved at me to cross.

I looked backed at him and waved at him to move on. Instead, he waved back at me to cross first.

We must have done this three or four times before I realised I had the right of way and he was waiting for me to cross.

This is not an isolated incident.

At every traffic junction in busy streets and quiet roads, this scene is repeated. Drive near a school zone and you will find drivers automatically slowing down their vehicles and watching out for kids.

If a school bus stops in front of their vehicles for children to alight or board, they would stop behind the bus and wait for it to move.

In our drive to do well economically, have we lost sight of what is human and humane?

How different are we from wild animals which mark their space and chase away intruders?

In carparks, it is not rare to see a driver taking his time to move his car out of a lot when he notices someone waiting for that space.

Neighbours take one another to court over trivial matters such as water from washing cars overflowing to their side of the fence.

It is about time we learnt to take life a little easier, to laugh a little more and to give way to others.

It is about time we took control of our behaviour without recourse to campaigns and fines.

It is about time we learnt to be human again.

Patrick Tan Siong Kuan

This person probably have not lived in Paris yet=)

Here is where people bang each other's cars (alittle), when doing parallel parking. things like that are so bad that people just drive cheap cars.

oh also, my neighbour actually gave me a scolding because when I bathe, if the water hits the window, it will somehow drip to the apartment below (if enough water hits the window, that is).

oh well.

Many people like Paris. But who have really worked here will like Paris? or for that matter, France?

As described in the lonely plant book, the French assumes that "Every decent human being should be able to speak French". ALL YOU NON FRENCH SPEAKING PEOPLE LISTEN UP! you are sooo indecent:P

of course this is changing.. but ever so slowly.

Other than the unwillingness to settle the administrative issues for us, our french company simply ignores our needs.

AND to my surprise, (this i just found out recently) it is the same for the other not-so-big (by saying big, i mean iGems) french companies. My other friend is also being discriminated. he is not offered relocation pay, which is offered to the rest of his french colleagues. It is like, his colleagues expect him to be REALLY happy here, cos they expected that his pay to be at around 80 euros per month! HOW ATROCIOUS!!!!

oh freak.

at least I am thankful for my good manager. but definitely not for the others that i do not want to name.

FRENCH FRENCH!! i must jiayou to make my french fluent!!!

I was telling my colleauges that we have to learn french to survive in this company. In fact, they are right that there is no or little economical benefits to be able to speak french. business everywhere speaks english. but for me.. since I am earning french euros now, I might as well earn it well:) it is always better to have an extra tool. besides it is definitely an advantage for me, when I climb in this company, since I am bonded for 2 more years.

AND of course, alittle bit for sq.

TO be fair. Some people are really nice.

It is just that the HR in france is not matured enough. resulting in the unhappiness of the employees. both french and non-french.

One hot night...

2005-07-17T17:53:00.000+02:00

That one night.

Ladies' nite.

well.. we went home unharmed.. er.. except ossie. she kinda got licked.

Wedding tradition

2005-07-17T15:44:00.000+02:00

Its a tradition that the groom/bride put on ridiculous costumes and do silly things before marriage.

so cute right?

These 'hot' nurses below, tried to sell us condoms for 20cents for fun. and in the end, they end up giving us the condom :P

Peace NOT war

2005-07-17T15:12:00.000+02:00

EVERYONE SAY:

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..... SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!

Isnt this the sweetest peace movement you have ever seen??? in the pram, lies a doggie with a kitty sleeping peacefully together!

Gossip

2005-07-13T13:02:00.000+02:00

I realised.

realised that there still remains some things that are not to be spoken on blogs..

Caught a whiff of a horrible rumour about me yesterday. It makes me sick to the bottom of my stomach.

Reminds me alot of the old days when there are rumours about me in uni days. or even rumours that date all the way but to Secondary school times.

In secondary school times, there are rumours about me and my friends being lian and all. 'connected' to gangs or whatever. er.. what gangs?? we are really very kuai people u know!?! it is just that we potrayed ourselves a little like the mean girls, in the mean girls movie. =p . very bad, i know. but HEY, we were young and innocent then!!!

then there was this rumour about us wearing PVC clothings to the school's drama night. this is again...... er.......... refreshing your memory a little. PVC clothings are the 'in' wear for the ah-lians at that point of time. due to of course, our dearest, Fann Wong.

** A small digression here. Fann Wong's name is one with alot of ??? for me. in chinese it is Fan wen fang. YET in english it is Fann Wong. So is her surname Fan?? OR is it Wong????

Ok, back to the PVC clothings that we supposedly wore. I DO NOT EVEN OWN A PVC CLOTHING!!! how the end is it possible?!? I just merely wore a black tshirt, and black jeans, thats all!

anw. after that comes rumours about me being with this very popular guy in school. er.. we only went out ONCE. and rumours had it that we were spotted holding hands, strolling in campus. ER.. oh well. just bad luck for being targetted by the school's most scandalous guy, i guess. nevermind his actresses ex gfs.

Over the times, the contents of the rumours change from childish to mature stuff that you might read in those saucy gossip magazines.

This time. it is a bad one. i cant think of anything worse.

Hence people. sorry about it, but i felt the need to delete certain past entries. and maybe after i sanitize them, then i might republish them again.

Those who have been following this modest blog have read them all. so. there. =)

A brainless day

2005-07-11T15:29:00.000+02:00

Is there a point of time that there is simply no motivation to move even a single brain cell?

Today is such a day.

Mysteriously, I had a headache (again!).

I think it is due to my grinding of teeth when I am asleep. It is an old bad habit from long long time ago, whenever I am stressed..

Stressed.

Ossie was wondering why is it that, each time a girl talks about the problems she has, and 90% of the time, it will be due to men.

My opinion is as such. Love is usually at the top of the agenda for women. each time when I like someone, he is always in my mind. and usually all the problems i will have is due to this man. Hence what I told Ossie was, That is because women are intelligent creatures, other problems such as work, money etc.. is not really a problem, especially when women are able to solve them easily on their own. so that really leaves one problem: MEN.

I was feeling rather useless. After being with almost all categories of desirable men, I have still yet to find my life partner. Someone to hold my hand when I am old and cranky. Someone to wake me up with a kiss each morning, and kiss me goodnight each night.

Where are you, my dearest husband? Have you, in fact, forgotten all about me?

Olympics

2005-07-06T09:12:00.000+02:00

is the atmosphere very heated up in Singapore????

Especially with the Olympics Bidding there, no?

Today, the radio man spoke gently my dearest country's name for like 100000times that I lost count!

Apparently, the france president Jacques Chirac is there to make his presentation. and so are the rest of the other countries bidding for Olympics 2012. Tony Blair etc.

In my heart, I only hope that my country is able to impress all, and market itself well using this chance.

oh also, I bet all of you thought that Singapore has lost the bid for Disneyland right? and convienently thought that the only alternative out is to set up Integrated Resorts (it is always good to use the politically correct term ha :P) right? ha, apparently no, it is as the Sg government did not want to invest in it, as compared to the HK government. That is why.

hey in fact, I think it is a good move. u think?

Luxembourg n champagne

2005-07-05T10:45:00.000+02:00

Hiya!!

just got back from a trip from champagne and Luxembourg =)

The trip was.. hmm.. dunno how to describe.

we went to taste the most expensive and famous champagne in the world: Moët and Chandon.

For someone who cant take alcohol (like me!), i think i almost vomited after one flute of champagne. BUT I didnt, I just slept straight on the car after it. =p

Luxembourg was nice. BUT. erhmm.

The trip was cut short by a small tiny mistake.

Apparently the car cant take diesel, as it runs on petrol. BUT that woman told us that it runs on diesel. SO happily, diesel is pumped into the vehicle. and the rest is history.

Well, at least we get to wait at the beautiful Benedictine Abbey (the most religious place in the country), for the toil vehicle, and the replacement.

we can almost say for sure that the car is almost dead for now.

pictures soon!!

ALSO.. heh... * rubs hands *

we had a girls' night out yesterday..............

and everything else is up to ur imagination! haha..

update more soon!=p

The Roundest Moon Competition

2005-07-01T17:25:00.000+02:00

Ok, submit your moons quick! be it ang mo kio moon, bedok moon, johor moon or malacca moon.
(try to take a picture of the surroundings too!) and email me at janinamania@gmail.com !

First competitor: Moon from Paris, Montparnesse.

Moon search

2005-06-28T12:53:00.000+02:00

paiseh lancy. and all.

very very very busy these few days. exhausted completely.

The wedding over the weekend. then rushing out a program after work. and dinner today at Squeeze's with Amicable, Ossie and Nanxing (who is in fact not a chinese, but a Latin American).

Anyway, Nanxing claims that his dad looks like Tony Leong, and his brother looks like Ossie's bf, Duke. Ha, we shall see, cos he promised to bring photos.

will update as soon as possible!!

oh also, everyone, kindly email me a picture of the moon from where u are. my email addy is on the right=)

we can NOW finally compare where the moon is rounder.hahhaa=p

ok, till next time.

Women and sale

2005-06-24T11:22:00.000+02:00

Feeling naughty today.

and undisciplined.

Today is the first day of the Great Paris sale of summer. (soldes d'éte). And supposingly, all the shops are supposed to open by 7am. but apparently not btw.

Surprisely, Ossie and I are able to drag ourselves out of bed to hit the shops at 8am. HA, considering that we are always late for tennis... this is really quite an achievement. PLUS, we did not even feel tired. it was like, full of energy all the way! hahahaha..

women.. buay tahan :P

AND our disappointment came when the shops only open later. for eg, Zara only opens at 9am, earlier than usual; still.

so, we took breakfast at good old McDonalds. The breakfast in McDonalds is quite cheap! 1.50 euros for a drink plus 3 mini croissants!=)

anw, so, about 8.30am, we saw quite a sizable crowd outside the shops. Especially monoprix. and when we got to Zara, we realised that there is a crowd there too. ha. u know, after all the reports of singaporeans being kiasu during sale really make us feel like freaks, queuing up for sale. but women all around the world do that too u know. ha.

Singaporean media always like to bash our fellow countrymen. I dislike.

Knowing that i have to reach office by the latest 9.30am. I am 30mins from office. BUT zara is opening at 9am.

so i promised that i will only look for 10mins and leave.

but in the end, I realised that i had to scan through all the things that are sold, before pulling myself away. =P

so happily i reached the office at 10+am. a happy and proud owner of a white zara tunic.

hahaha.

i think i can shop around for some work clothes for sis and send them back. the sale is quite great. 50% off most things. YAY!

Belated Roland Garros

2005-06-23T11:43:00.000+02:00

ramblings

2005-06-22T12:51:00.000+02:00

We, women, want our man to have a great career, to be able to provide for the family etc. On the other hand, we also want our man to pay attention to us, shower us with love, spend time with us.

Is it a contradictory thing? does it always have to be mutually exclusive?

I wonder, am i fitted to be a wife of a career man.

anw anw...

yesterday is the fête de la Musique, and IMO, it is disappointing. Just some performances everywhere, and they are not exactly up to standard. BUT i found out that my colleague Loïc has really cute friends! =P

hahahahhaa...

Got a soirée tonight and meeting squeeze after that.

oops and my pictures are not uploaded yet!! ARGH!

I procrastinate.

But then again, not really. as I really have alot of things on hand.

My main aim now is to study my french. YEAH! for my career.

A bottle of disaster

2005-06-16T12:50:00.000+02:00

Today, I am very fen nu!

It is partly my fault, i left my bottle opened and the guys in my room are playing the throwing-thing-at-each-other game again.

AND my bottle was knocked and all the water spilled into my bag, where there are precious and expensive things like:
*My handphone with swarvoski crystals
*my canon ixus
*my Sony MD
*and the most expensive of all: my dior sunglasses!

WAH LAU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there happened to be a receipt inside, so the prints of the receipt is now happily on the case of my dior sunglasses!!

even though the case doesnt matter, but it is the part of the whole package no?

ARGH!

not mad at anyone is particular, it is really also my fault about my bottle.

sq gallantly wiped my sunglasses case on his expensive shirt. touched noless, but that is what he told me, i din see it with my own eyes.

This morning on the way to work, I mysteriously remembered to put on my bvlgari watch. if not, it might be drenched too.

The camera is dry n nice in its case, the MD also. the hp was saved in time.

Amen. (i am not even a christian!)

Cafe Life à Paris 2

2005-06-14T16:21:00.000+02:00

at the top of Kenzo near Pont Neuf. There is an extremely nice and classy eating place.

It is here where they filmed Sex and the City, with carrie eating with the bf's ex wife.

The vibrant broad colours and designs in this cafe screams the broad colours and designs of Kenzo.

Sarong Party Girl

2005-06-13T13:15:00.000+02:00

Due to a naked picture that this lady posted on her blog, all of a sudden, there are strange visitors chancing upon my blog, using the simple search as follows:

Earlier it was RUHUA who dominated my search. Now it is the sarong party girls of my country.

So sad!

anw, there is still one ruhua entry, so not too bad.

Wo shi xin fu hao bao bao

2005-06-10T15:30:00.000+02:00

I am a xin fu hao bao bao~~~~ lalala...

Everybody loves me, nobody hates me. But I still think i ought to eat some worms.

heh. paiseh too bo liao le.

Amicable was commenting that, I am a very xin fu(fortunate) person, when I feel like eating, someone will miraculously cook for me.

One fine sunday morning, I woke up hungry, and feel like eating mee. and Amicable and Ossie offered to cook for me. Of course, in the end ,Ossie did not cook. Cos she is feeding on LOVE itself. Amicable cooked and I helped out.

One day i got back from work, hungry. I got offered a delicious cake from Ossie's bf (lets call him Duke from now on). Duke also offered me a piping hot pizza. Yummy! (except for the olives!) and I had such a strong craving for coke light that I wanted to walk across the street to get it. AND just as i was stepping out, Ossie commented that I can drink the coke light from the fridge, as they will not be able to finish the big bottle.

OMG, how xin fu can I get?

And and, my colleagues cooked meesiam for me.

of course, its a coincidence that all my 'xin fu'-ness seems to be derived from food. WHICH (of course) is not ture!

or it is?

Amicable was joking the other day that I will be happy just to have good food, and that I am rather low maintenance, I do not even need a big space to sleep. ha. which is............. quite true is fact :P

which makes me a xin fu hao bao bao. lalala........

oh, i watch a free musical on wednesday. was meaning to blog on it. soon.

A Girls' guide to Spending less money in Paris (or spending more)

2005-06-07T16:13:00.000+02:00

Since I am way ahead of my schedule at work. I am taking a breather to blog!! haha

hmm.. all these work and career path planning has taken an obvious toil on the number of blogs I post, no?

I think that it is more of the career path planning that is keeping my thoughts occupied. Its not really the work.

The work is although challenging, but it is still manageable.

anyway.

since I am a shopping addict, I rely on certain ways to help me spend less money, OR in the reserve, to enable me to spend more money without guilt! HA!

Here's how my thinking process go:

HOW TO SPEND LESS MONEY IN PARIS

1. When you see something that you like, check the price. AND convert it from euros back to SGD. u will probably get a shock of how much it costs and decide not to buy it.

2. Still not convinced? Think of the amount of things you can buy using that amount of money in Singapore. one decent shirt u buy here, you can buy 2 back in singapore. Think again. isnt it better to buy it back in Singapore?

3. BUT BUT.. the design is unique! you might argue.

but with the same amount, you can afford a super unique PLUS good quallity shirt in Singapore.

4. But this shirt is from Paris, and u will not run into someone wearing the same shirt in Singapore. u might think.

The shirt that you can buy in singapore is definitely of a good quality, and with that price u are going to pay, you are probably not going to bump into someone wearing the same thing.

5. one last reason: to boost the economy of singapore!

why not? We all love our country right?

6. FYI, branded goods are not NOT cheaper here. the only thing u can 'bank on' for the so-called discount, is the around 12% tax rebate u get when u exit from the aeroport.

HOW TO SPEND MORE MONEY IN PARIS

1. Paris is THE fashion capital (nevermind that it is overhyped), so definitely it is justifiable to buy things here no?

2. The design is unique

3. U wun bum into someone wearing the same thing in singapore.

4. and when people ask where did u get that shirt from, u can coolly say: from Paris

5. Think that now that I am earning in euros, i should not convert things to SGD anymore, if not i will not even eat anything (think macdonalds' meal is ard 6euros, as compared to ard 6 SGD) .

6. In Singapore, u will definitely be able to find the same things, if u are to buy from Mango, etc. BUT u do not have the slightly fatter expat pay, so you are really spending SGD. FOr a stingy person, as I am, I will not bear to spend.=(

7. I probably wun have the time to do much shopping in sg, i will probably be busy with alot of other things (yah right! i work at orchard road..so this reason is not really valid)

ok, i m done with my crap!

Cafe life in Paris 1

2005-06-05T14:45:00.000+02:00

ok, the first cafe I would like to recommend is the one at La Bon Marche.

The tranquil cafe uses 2 main colours, green and white. giving a very calm and peaceful atmosphere.

I absolutely love the leaf motifs everywhere. The menu is also in a leaf shape!

La bon marche

2005-06-05T14:40:00.000+02:00

Whats up

2005-06-04T23:39:00.000+02:00

Dun the title sound alittle hip hop?? haha

like those:
Yo Yo whassup

etc

Basically, what I am up these days are:

My dearest friend Ossie is here with me again in Paris. She is actually really living the 'ridiculous, inconvenient, cant-live-without-each-other love'.

This gal came here from London, all the way to see her beau.

Actually I am quite envious of their love.

Its the kind of love that you have when you are young. You know? young, reckless, without alot of other things on your mind.

Me like it.

Amicable and me decided that we have HAVE to enjoy the fine dining and classy cafes here. as Paris is famous for it!

So I made it a point to go to one nice place per week, as I am not rich!

So last week was La Bon Marche near Mabillon Metro with Amicable.

This week today is Kenzo, at Pont Neuf.

Only when I step in, I realised. Kenzo is the place where they filmed the last episode of Sex and the city.

where carrie and the ex wife of her bf ate.

the ambience was SUPERB!

Will post up the pictures!

Also, enjoyed myself at a fabulous flea market.

And and and! went to Roland Garros.

Although I was disappointed that it was a bad game.

BUT BUT BUT I did have fun take all the pictures. Especially with the nicely dressed Belgium fans!!

=)

ok, tired now. Ossie is already asleep. I am just back from a fabulous mee siam dinner. or it might not be fabulous, it is just that my taste in food dropped. anything singaporean is ALWAYS good. haha

I love my colleagues!

Chewy news

2005-05-31T22:27:00.000+02:00

Here are some news to chew on:

From bloggerland:

Win a date thingy sounds fun!! PLUS the date is at Equinox!! Check out the places to eat post!

From Mainland:
A spy from ST.

Future thoughts

2005-05-31T22:18:00.000+02:00

I've wrote a rather long blog about my tots on the future.

But i somehow felt that it was too personal that i could not post it out.

So in the end, I emailed the entry to my sister. (so sis, you must read it!!) and started typing this.

Actually I am fine with posting it. But due to the possibility of my colleagues reading. I decided not to.

Its just that I have been in the mood of thinking about my future. my career path, etc.

I am very sure of what I want to do, at the end of the road. I want to lecture a polytechnic. which was why I worked so hard to publish a paper with IEEE. Speaking of which. YES, I got featured in a newspaper, which I do not feel like mentioning which one. The reason being:

HOW CAN THAT STUPID NEWSPAPER UNDERMINE MY RESEARCH PAPER PUBLISHED FOR AN IEEE CONFERENCE!!??!!

I mean. even professors find it hard to publish papers in a prestiguous and internationally recognised organisation. The stupid newspaper did not even mention about my paper. Instead it blah-ed on working in france, and getting the contract before I actually graduate.

okok. it seems impressive that i got the job before I graduate. BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT right?

what can be more impressive than an IEEE paper?????!!

Tell me.

ARGH!

ok. I am done complaining. HAHA.

After venting my anger here. I think i should add some warm fluffy thingy into this blog.

I love my family.

When talking to Amicable. I really realised that I have the best family around.

EVERYONE. really everyone. everyone is very supportive of each other.

we support and help each other in whatever way we could.

we hug. we say 'I love you' to each other.

we go out of the way for each other.

No matter where I am. My heart can feel the support of my family.

I am here for you all too!! Dad, mum, sis!!

Then i cant help wondering why my relationship with my bfs are not like my relationship with my family.

I need to spend time with my bf to feel like he loves me. I need him to show affection for me to feel his love too.

But for my family. I do not require that attention. YET, i can feel the love of my family, warming me when things get tough, and I am all alone in this foreign land where people speak a foreign language.

I conveyed this thought to my bf.

And what i got from him is:
I do not understand why you can feel lonely when you know that I am thinking of you all the time.

Er.. hello uncle. if you dun say, how will i know?

Squeeze is not a conversationalistic in this sense.

He can talk. and talk well. BUT he doesnt talk about himself, especially his feelings.

Sometimes he seems so foreign.

I feel that after so long. I am still not able to understand this man.

which is what now. I am thinking.

I do not think that he is the one for me.

In anyway. I find myself controlling my feelings towards him.

I find myself typing msn messages of things I feel. and then deleting them away, without sending them to him.

I feel that I have opened up to someone who doesnt want to open up to me.

He told me that his family never talked about their feelings. Unless when it is absolutely necessary. like the first time they spoke. it was at his grandmother's funeral.

So maybe one can blame it on his upbringing.

Nevertheless, I am someone who needs to communication. and wihtout commuincation, he feels foreign to me.

I cant I cant. I feel that I cant go on if this persisits.

Be it due to his upbrining. He has to change if he wants things to be better.

But, oh well. he is a stubborn stubborn man. and so am I....

Battery hens, we are..

2005-05-27T16:56:00.000+02:00

Everything is cool and fine.

The temperature here is Paris hits 33degrees today. I think I am going to die of a heat stroke. only 3 days ago, it is like 8 degrees, and the temperature suddenly shot up.

Squeeze and I spent a nice evening together. so everything is fine.

I am not sure about all girls. For me, it is just sufficient to show me how important I am to you. and I will be yours to stay.

ok, I mean, I have to be attracted to u in the first place lar.

I shall not write out the details of our conservation, unless you people want to kenna diabetes and vomit blood. (the same expression I used with cuzzie when we were talking about someone's tagboard. * wink *) haha

anyway.

Sorry ting, I cant take a picture of the moon here. The days are so long now, that it is still rather bright at 10pm. and I do not really think I did see the moon. heh.

Yesterday, suddenly, me and amicable realised that we are like battery hens! you know, those hens that are keep in a closed room, with simulated day and night. It is made such that, there are 2 'days' in 24 hours, such that the chicken are able to lay eggs twice a day.

Having the sky still bright and shiny, we could not judge what time it is now. (i mean normally you can have a feel of the time right? ) its horrible! and for example, it made me really late for dinner, and strangely, i am not hungry. isn't it weird? I cant believe my stomach actually follows the brightness of the sky.

For now, the HUGE fuss here is for the voting of the constitution this sunday. Apparently 45% wants to vote 'non', and 55% is for 'oui'. People are talking about it day in day out. and Squeeze actually took the European Constitution book and studied it really really thoroughly, that I think you can test him on that.

oh well. I think I do not really care. all will be clear after sunday.

Meanwhile have a good weekend!

STICKY: List of places to eat when I get back

2005-05-27T08:27:00.000+02:00

FYI, This blog entry is going to be like the 'sticky' threads you see on the forum, which means it will be at the top of the blog from time to time. Because I like food too much!!HAHAHAA

List of places to eat when I get back. Recommended mostly by my friend, Jingle-Ling. =P

I love to try new food!! Also to add on to my existing (NOT updated) list of places to eat.

This is to help me remember the places I want to go and eat!!=P

1. raffles hotel empire cafe

For the clayfish hofan

2. "TAMADE"

opened by a group of taiwanese tai tai
for the chocolate souffle and margarita

3. Tao's

6course lunch $19.00++
7course dinner only $24.00++

4. mango dessert place beside lido

I love mango

5. chocolate buffet at fullerton

$24.00+++

6. Parris

japanese buffet place at marina square

7. Kuishin Bo
the japanese paper steamboat on suntec's sky garden

its by fiesta. just to try.

8. "V Tea Room" at esplanade

this one quite ex
very good service
interesting tea time food
go to experience something different

Type of food:
all for tea time n breakfast type of food
got crepe.
got egg souffle.
they are famous for their liquer cakes $15.00
brownie blend $11.50
normal tea $7.00

9. chongqing

Taiwanese steamboat.
It has renovated. must go!

10. Max Brenier or something
chocolate place at esplanade

11. Hyatt hotel "Mezzanine"
good dessert n food

12. Al Dente at esplanade.

13. Coffee club express
Rumours said that they offer the best mud pie, which I have not tried before.

14. Altivo
at Mount Faber. Should be super romantic with the view and all! spend more than $70, you get to sit on the special cushions. HEH

quite exp, $15 for a drink.

15. Bistro
Also at Mount faber. less exp and less perfect view.
$8 for a drink.

Purfect place i think, to go relax after work=)

16. Buckeroo bar and grill
at serangoon
Very large portions, very good food.
Try: the onion rings in a standing stick

Cost? Depends on what you eat.
A filling meal of starters and sides costs ard $10 each

17. West End
Opened by Jingle-Ling's cousin.
Near Haw par villa
potato skin very unique
steak is highly recommended
Local and western food available.
STEAK IS $23.00 ONWARDS

A filling meal of starters and sides costs ard $10 each

18. Equinox

Taking the place of the old compass rose. the meals are very expensive, at $100 per pax.
During valentines, it costs $200 per pax, and PLUS $30 for a window seat. so smart to make money!

19. Ice Cream at sunset way.

Flavours are like sesame, durian, lychee, chendol flavour and other common types.
Taste is good, and waffle is very nice
sunset way is in between clementi and upper bukit timah and holland V

* This list is not exhaustive and will be updated from time to time, as the author wishes * HA