A Bimbo, Re-Defined

...a princess's diary...

mardi, août 23, 2005

Super Nova Stress

It is late. yet here I am, blogging.

why? cos i slept straight when i got home.

Too tired.

too tired from yesterday's breakdown from stress.

With all stress about having to have a higher french level than an average french.

In 1 month's time.

I feel so stressed. like never before.

In fact, I have never felt so stressed in my life. cos things come naturally.

Or at least, last minute work will suffice.

but not now. it is not going to help now.

I realised.

the only real stress one has to face. is the stress coming from within.

In fact, no one else is giving me the stress. No one else is piling on expectations on me.

why I am so stressed?

no one is going to expect me to be great in french.

But i myself know, it is crucial. for my job.

so hence, I cannot let myself off so easily.

I must force it onto myself somehow.

it has been so immerse that I broke down. big time yesterday.

stressing poor sq together with me.

I never know stress could be so damaging. cos all the while, I welcome stress. I do not understand why people complain about stress. cos if there is no stress, it means that there is no real challenge. no?

but now. its like. i dun even really dare to sleep. every second is really thinking about french.

How many of our peers are able to speak n write English so well to do presentations? Not alot. inspite of speaking english all our lives.

Now, i have to do it. In french. a language far more complicated than english.

I have to survive!