A Bimbo, Re-Defined

...a princess's diary...

vendredi, août 26, 2005

Relationship responsibility

Firstly.

I HATE unwelcomed guests here in my blog. you know who you are.

I do not like you visitng my blog.

so dun. thanks.

if you continue, i will just have to shut down this blog, and start
another one anonymous.



And DUN TREAT ME LIKE AN IDIOT!

I might be one of the most technologically challenged computer engineers
around, but i do know what is an IP address.

So, basically, i will definitely know it, if you were to visit my blog.

so dun be a fool.


i know that it is much much more than those 3 times that you 'admitted'
that you visited my blog.


so, any more of this shit. I will change my blog address. n be anonymous.

I realised that I have been posting less and less than before, because of this shit.

grr.
-----------------------------------------------

Hi you people that I like!

=)

ha

I am not a nasty person ok?


Recently, it seems that girls around me are having the same problems.

Coincidentally.


Responsibility in a relationship. how important is that?


It is factual that we have to be responsible to our partners. as in. not
to cheat with someone else behind (or in front!) of our other halfs.


Visualise this scenario:
Friend A, she went with another guy, whilst having a bf. for easy naming, old bf == Bf A, new bf == Bf B.
So, she told Bf B about Bf A, but she did not tell Bf A about Bf B.
Bf B loves her too much to let go. meanwhile Bf A is kept in the dark.
now Bf B have doubts. she still have Bf A, no?

Visualise another scenario:
Friend B.
she went with another guy, whilst having a bf. for easy naming again =P, old bf == Bf A, new bf == Bf B.
she did the responsible thing. she broke with the old bf to be with the new one.
THEN. the new one wants a break.
She lost both.
------------------------------------------------
Doesnt it pay to be relationship responsible?

or is it better to be selfish, to protect yourself?

Now, men are all so changeable. would you choose to protect yourself to the maximum, so that you will not end up alone? or will you still play by the morally correct rules?

For me, at least for now, I can afford to play by the morally correct rules. except that I suck at ending relationships. cos when the guy begs for a chance, I will go soft and give in, again and again, even if I know well that there is no chance..

mardi, août 23, 2005

Super Nova Stress

It is late. yet here I am, blogging.


why? cos i slept straight when i got home.


Too tired.


too tired from yesterday's breakdown from stress.




With all stress about having to have a higher french level than an average french.


In 1 month's time.

I feel so stressed. like never before.

In fact, I have never felt so stressed in my life. cos things come naturally.

Or at least, last minute work will suffice.


but not now. it is not going to help now.



I realised.


the only real stress one has to face. is the stress coming from within.



In fact, no one else is giving me the stress. No one else is piling on expectations on me.

why I am so stressed?

no one is going to expect me to be great in french.


But i myself know, it is crucial. for my job.

so hence, I cannot let myself off so easily.

I must force it onto myself somehow.


it has been so immerse that I broke down. big time yesterday.


stressing poor sq together with me.



I never know stress could be so damaging. cos all the while, I welcome stress. I do not understand why people complain about stress. cos if there is no stress, it means that there is no real challenge. no?


but now. its like. i dun even really dare to sleep. every second is really thinking about french.

How many of our peers are able to speak n write English so well to do presentations? Not alot. inspite of speaking english all our lives.


Now, i have to do it. In french. a language far more complicated than english.


I have to survive!

mardi, août 16, 2005

My delicious Chicken Soup

First, I shall start this blog by commending someone.


For she,

with the so very few precious hours that she is awake.


She actually used some of the awake time to read my blog!!

*CLAP CLAP CLAP*


Everyone gives 'psn' (as u can see from the tagboard) or fondly known as 'Elephany' a pat on the back!!!




hahaaa..


Doesnt this sound like the commencing of some church service, or some MLM talk?????



they always like to make awkward newcomers feel welcomed.

Not knowing that by doing so, the newcomers will only feel even more awkward?? I mean. being new is awkward enough. you dun really need strangers giving u the i-try-my-best-to-smile-so-brightly-and-pretend-to-look-like-i-like-you-but-in-actual-fact-i-do-not-even-know-you smile.


ANW. cheers to ELEPHANY! hahaa



Yesterday, I just had a thought.

Other than just bring a foot spa to France, I want to create a small corner garden in my apartment, so that I can relac one corner there. =p


so excitedly, I msned and told Shifu (his blog is on the right) that I want to have a small gardern in my apartment.


Of course, one would wonder, what a normal sane 24+ year old straight man do at an unearthly hour of 5.30am in Singapore?


Make a guess???


ha.

As clearly displayed in his MSN nick.


He is .. REMOVING HIS CORN!


and he still tell me got hole after removing his corn. how pucky is that??



Almost made me puke out the Herbal Chicken Soup that I was drinking.



Ha, anw, which brings me to:

you know, i am more n more in love with my own cooking.

it is sooo delicious that I cant stop.

I can just bowl the chicken again n again, and put more and more herbs.

then drink. and fill up with more water.

THEN drink again.

and this cycle could go on forever!

help!

I do. I do love my chicken soup so!

lundi, août 15, 2005

Misjudgements

Internet has been unstable.


Just like my life.


It is funny how people who do not even know u, are able to make so many judgements about u?


To what extent do u need to bother about such baseless judgements, and when to care, and when to heck care.


Having a rich experience in this area. The following has been my rules to follow by:

If the person knows me pretty well, I will be very affected, and reflect on myself. Only I know who knows me pretty well. The amount of people is this tier, can be easily counted using one hand.

If the person knows me fairly well, I will ask more questions, find out about it, and ponder on my own. I will bother to explain myself.

If the person knows me like a normal friend. I will find it weird. I might find out about it. I might not be bothered to explain myself, depending on the level of difficulty to explain.

If the person does not know me at all. I will just sneer. Ponder a little. And grumble a little and let it go. Cos my dearest friends will always be there to support me, no?

It’s the same that I am very protective of my friends.



Of course there are exceptions.

If the person is of a certain credibility, I will listen and learn. In fact, I am more than willing to listen and learn.

Of a certain credibility, meaning:
(I dun care about IQ level, cos some with Iqs can turn out be be rather idiotic)
-having an accomplished career.
Very difficult to explain hor. To be it very simply, they are the top 10% amongst the graduates.
I mean, having an accomplished career, to me, means that they are smart, street wise, knowledge, are able to judge situations well (so the likelihood of them misjudging me is low), determined, driven.

-a politician.
Haha.. I dunno, I still feel that to be a politician, u have to have a gift to ‘size’ people up. Hence the possibility of misjudging me is low.

-experienced leader.
U know, those type of old old CEOs. They have seen all shapes and sizes of people. Knowledgeable and wise. And they have to have good judgement of people to be successful no?


Then… I dunno liao.


Ha, anyway. It feels great to have my rules out. It is the first time I actually sat down to think about it, and it is due to my internet being down. :P



There has been a lot of misjudging going on…


In work, and in my private life.


The work one, I kind of worked it out.


In my private life, it got me fuming for quite a bit. But I think I m going to ignore it.


An ex-bf accused me of lying to him. Saying that I am with this female colleague, but in actual fact, I am with a guy.

Which is SO UN TRUE.


On one hand, I have to console and comfort this friend for 3 days 2 nites. And have all my supplies of chips and coca-light being depleted in the meantime :(

On the other hand, I am faced with all the false accusations.


Plus I have mountains of work to do! (not office work of course)



How can life be so frustrating.

I had enough. I had enough of explaining myself.

I am angry that someone who used to be so close to me, who is supposed to know who I really am. Is able to misjudge me like that. Maybe none of my bfs really really know me. :( which is kinda a very sad thought. I do hope not. I shall stop being angry by accusations of previous bfs. EVER AGAIN! Being angry, and explaining myself, it is such a tiring process.

He actually checked my bank account statements to verify if I was doing what I claimed I was doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH! I am soooo angry.

I am so sad, so disappointed. I am not a difficult person to understand, no? :(


Now, I DUN CARE, I DUN CARE ANYMORE!




You never know what the people who are ‘close’ to you, really REALLY think about me, unless things turn ugly, no?



To top up with that. I am no liar. I do hide things. But I do not lie.

For example:
Ossie: My bf is SOOOO cute hor?
Me: yup, his expression is cute. (which is true!)

But ossie also knows that I never say straight that: Your bf is cute.

HAHAHAA.. see, I am a honest honest girl. Dearest ossie can vouch for it! :P


Haha. Dun kill me hor!!!!!



THanks for all of u who gave me the support. Love u pple!!

samedi, août 13, 2005

With looks, comes shit.

some things have been going through my mind.

I am starting to hate adult life.


I loved it. more than school.

because after work, I do not even need to think about it.

Isnt it cool?


but now. it just became ugly.



What is wrong with looking the way that I am?


I remember in school, some people think I am bimbotic. just because I have the looks, means I must lack in some other areas. the most popular belief is that I lack in the brain department.


which. is ridiculous. not because I think that i am superly smart. BUT the people who say that about me, always with grades like C or tabao-ing (failing) subjects in school. yes i know it is hard not to tabao in our very demanding course. almost everyone did tabao. but I din. and I am proud of it. if you are smarter than me, maybe I am able to swallow your comments about me being stupid easier.

But no. oh god. we have to destroy people like that. mean, silly and sour.


Then again, that doesnt look so bad now. as compared to the adult world.



JUST because I am offered a position. that requires other people years to reach. the first thought that reaches many is: the director wants to sleep with me. or someone high up in the management wants to sleep with me.

er.




I got all depressed yesterday night. Poor sq. he had to tolerate me. for quite a couple of nights, I was depressed.

I really pity sq sometimes. He has been in poor health recently. and the doctor said that it is due to stress. either work or gf.

ha.


and yet. I am stressing him again and again.


I am stressing myself too. I am again and again disappointed with myself. because I am not able to pick up french fast enough.

I am angry with myself. WHY CANT I JUST SPEAK FRENCH FLUENTLY TO SHUT UP THE STUPID PEOPLE!?!



And yet in front of my sg colleagues, it is a different story. On one hand, I want to show that I am capable. on the other, I am so afraid that they will start being wary of me, cos of my accelerated progression of career path.


Well, it is not as if my pay is going to be any different.

Also. In fact, sadly, there is a high chance that I got it due to my looks. WHY IS THE WORLD LIKE THIS?


So in any case, I might take a step back, if it were to be expected of me to sleep with anyone that I am not willing to.



I think I do not want a successful career that badly that I want to betray myself.



Come to think of it, I do not mind if I am offered the chance because of my looks. But I mind a lot if I am expected to sleep with anyone.

I mean, looks is a part of me. And it is a tool that I can use. Why be so straight and stupid not to use it? Other people might have other talents that I dun. So if I dun use all the advantages I have. It is a little silly.



Anyway. I am rather upset about this. As it is probably true that I was employed because of my looks again. SIGH. It is not as if I am really really good looking lor!! Why must I face this kind of things??!!??


If I were to look like michelle reis. I really dun mind man. :P


But I dun. So why is there still such shit?!?

vendredi, août 12, 2005

Things to do

Out of the bigger things I have to settle:
I have small things too.

-Find a loving home for my dear XiaoKe (anyone is interested in looking after an adorable rabbit?)
asking squeeze to find out about animal transport to france.

I think I might be going to be very poor.
-Bring my labby to the toshiba repair centre, and if it is not able to be repaired, buy a 2nd hand labby
*spotted a 2nd hand ibook g3 for 600 : emailed e seller
-Get e camera from sis, or buy a 2nd hand one
*done, i m getting it from sis
-get a foot spa, my feet has been sore every morning I wake up
*found one for 19/ buying price for 21, spoke to ossie liao
-other things include CPF trading account

-NTU Alumini Application (anyone joining? join leh!!!)
-buy air tickets to shanghai
*i think going with thai air for 2 for abt 900
from 22sept to 9oct
emailed family liao
-buy a mp3 or something player, because my MD spoil liao =(
*found a tdk one for 70usd
cannot learn french liao =(
-go for my annual haircut n colour or treatment
-go for a mani/pedi and buy pedi things to bring back to france
-get all the prima taste things i need
*get 4 of all flavours i think. from ntuc
-get other food supply (je sais pas quoi)
-get a business developer for vm
-get my makeup stuff back from hy
-get business stuff proper
-get the thing for my teeth, i have been grinding them, so i need to get protection.
-get new contact lenses
-make new specs? cos my current specs Y Y. =(
-should i shop for some pro pro clothes??/? cos doing business when i came back
-i think i m stressed...

i think still got more things.. lemme think

Triste Femme

Its been booked!

My air tickets of course!


I am officially flying on 15th sept, at what time, i dunno.


As my sissy is in Shanghai having her internship. and since she cant come back. So my family has decided that me and my mum fly up to Shanghai to look for sis and dad instead, on the 22 september. WHICH leaves me, i think not much time in singapore. =( I will do my best to arrange.

***************************************************
A dark cloud is hovering ard my head.


just yesterday, my friend sent me a link to this blog which describes a girl, who got pregnant by her bf, and how she is coping with it. In fact, her bf, LX, abandonned her after she told him that she is pregnant. and accused her for delibrately getting herself pregnant just to tie him to her.


AND to top things up, LX is a scholar, a government one.


The short blog for just like ard 2 weeks old. is hacked into, or so I think.


Today morning, I visited the site, to find that the blog doesnt not exist.

Very puzzled, I retyped the address. But, still no results.




And just now. I visited it again. only to find it all white. blank. without any data.



Is it the vicious bf who hit back?



or is it some mysterious authority?


I really do not know.


I just feel so so so sad for her.




Take care to all. Girls, pls do not get urselves pregnant.


Girls are especially vulnerable to this. To 'keep' their men, to satisfy their men, or to get love.

it is so sad

mardi, août 09, 2005

(NOT) Just other deordorant..

I find this need to write about this ABSOLUTELY ridiculous advertisement that I have seen in the cinema, i think it is on TV here too.

It is about this brand of deodourant, that I have already forgotten about it. => which proves - NOT EFFECTIVE!

The advert started with this asian couple (i m not sure about their nationality) fighting with each other => aka Hidden Dragon, couching tiger cum Hero- style.

They were happily fighting and doing their 'qing gong' over lakes etc(walking and fighting on the water basically).

AND out of nowhere, the woman flew up and did a Bruce-lee or Huang Feihong poise. U know the one where u put your hands up like an eagle, with one leg on the ground and another leg upwards.


AND AND, she used her feet, (in fact the first and second toes) and PINCHED the guy's nipple!!!!!


AHHHH...OMG

and then the man was in great pain, and he bared his bare chest.

THEN! flowers started flowing out from his chest.

THEN the girl, she floated towards the guy and rested her head demurely onto the guy's chest.



and the picture of the deodourant appears........................ -_-




guys, will u buy this product? girls, do u want ur guy to use this product?

jeudi, août 04, 2005

Plans=)

BIG hugs to all for ur cooperation :p

AND ALSO, those who offered to take leave to play with me!! *MUAKS* muhahahaa

Cussie n Grand Cussie:
Sushi buffet

Cussie n Grand Cussie n Weasley:
KBox

Cussie n Grand Cussie n Grandma n (perhaps) mum n 1st aunty:
Crystal Jade

Shifu-Alex:
-Beach road, hokien prawn noodle n tang yuan.
and maybe Tulong thingy.

Guardian Angel :p
Mushroom Pot @ Stadium Walk

Jingle ling
Taos@paradiz

Mel mel
Seoul Garden

Elephany
klunch + nasi lemasek

Dollie, Elephany, Daffy, Avogardo
Ajisen + scoopz

Junde
Pastamania@suntec

Jancy, Lancy, Mancy
DOU JIANG YOU TIAO + maybe beef hor fun??

Chris
Fish & Co (preference thrusday)

Ossie n Amicable
Thai Express plus garlic icecream

mardi, août 02, 2005

Mixing n Matching

Hiya!!

now all i have to do is to mix and match dates with the places to eat!

Including these!

Gosh!

I wonder how am I going to finish all the food!

it is maciam like playing crossroads! (shi zhi lu kou)


Speaking of that. anyone interested in playing??? just 2-3 a team can liao.

Play leh!! haha.

lundi, août 01, 2005

Foods, I miss you!!

On top of the list of foods that I have listed that I want to try when I get back to Singapore.


I shall not forget about my old favourites foods right?? :P

.-*~Voici la liste!~*-.
-----------------------------
-Beach road, hokien prawn noodle
-Kenny rogers, macaroni & cheese
-Suki sushi buffet, for stuffing myself with BBQ unagi AND salmon sashimis, chawamushi, and fried tofu
-suntec, mini personal steamboat buffet with herbal chinese soup
-Shrimp paste fried rice from Thailand express at colours at the bay. Esplanade. with cross ordering of Garlic ice cream from Garlic resto
-Scoopz from Parkway Parade with AJISEN ramen!!! the pak ku ramen.
-satay
-or jian
-Maxwell market's curry rice
-Maxwell market's wu xiang
(HELP me salivating liao!)
-Mee hun kuay
-Nasi lemak
-bedok bah cou mee
-Roti prata
-Seoul garden (i know i shouldnt be missing this, BUT..)
-fish & co. seafood platter
-BBQ! satay, hotdogs, etc
-Geylang taiwanese mian xian + yong tiao
-Pasar malam food: fried siew mai, taiwanese sausage, tutu
-peanut pasted tang yuan, Beach road
-Geylang beef horfun
-Delifrance (haha) for breakfast
-Ya kun!! kaya toast, with egg
-dark fried noodles
-char siew rice
-BBQ chicken wings
-chicken rice
-prawn mee
-laksa
-White wine pasta from Pasta mania
-salty fish fried rice
-DURIANS!
-ice kacang
-chendol
-dim sum buffet @china square
-crystal jade
-forest of mushroom pasta
-smoked salmon pasta
-mango tango from fullerton
-black pepper crab
-goreng pisang

Singaporean Plans =)

Since my days in Singapore is scarce.

only 2 weeks. I want to make a list of all the people I die die must meet up with:p


I hope i dun forget to meet up anyone!!!


Voici la liste (in no order of priority hor!!)
-----------------------------------------------------------
-MUM! and dad (hopefully)
-Elephany, dolly, daffy, Avocardo('s constant) -> for absolutely senseless batter
side note, simply because he decided to name himself that, after we learnt it during chemistry lessons ha
-Jingle ling, Sand.. for girl talk
-Shifu.. for his wise ramblings..haha
-Jingle ling, luohan, sand, big piece of meat, kit kat, ah huat, aaron, etc u will know it if you are in that group lar!! AND their other halves of course! hmm pretty big group.
-Fred, my fav metrosexual..haha.
-Joanne. and other half.
-Noel, hao-ge, siewmai, mel mel jie, kang kang, ting, hilda, kevin, victor?, panda, sure-win etc JC pple for eating alot alot alot. and of course, for poking fun at siewmai.hhaa.. no lar, we have been always very kind!
-Cussie!! and grande cussie and other half(haha) that is you, weasley.
-Ossie and Amicable
-Von?
-Rajat and dev etc? i dunno. rajat should be married by then, no? u dunno
-Chris.
-Couper girl (primary one meilleure amie)
-Ossie + other girls (ossie, i wonder if we could locate weiqing and the rest??? should be fun leh!! i got contact with jocasta. haha)
-prob elephany for fashion advice ..ha.. am ever so proud of my buyer friend.
-of course my gang members. all the -ancys.
-Grand pa (father side)
-Grand ma (mother side)
-miscellaneous relatives?
-mm ming for badminton?
-Prof tay! (not v close to prof yew so i think just say hi can liao)
-hopefully, find a business developer, and meet all the poeple i need to meet for business.
-set up CPF trading account, etc
-settle 10000000... adminstrative things